Reflections
Start writing a post

Do you ever look back on your life and think about all the things that have changed? The people you were surrounded by, your environment, your passions, and your dreams. I look back and think about all of these things have changed within the past few months. Looking back, I was an 18 year old boy filled with rage and a façade of happiness. I was not happy; I was so insecure, and I would let every single comment get to me.

A time period existed a few months ago where I lost the majority of the people I was close to. I was so negative that I truly believe it pushed the people I cared about away. Months later, after constant periods of reflection, I do not blame them. I believe I just had so many bad, traumatizing things to happen and consequently, I acted out in rage and had a mask I wore to hide the pain I was in. I told people I would change, promised them change, and eventually I brought the change. The people who cared about me knew something was happening to me, and I kept quiet about the things going on in my head. I spent what felt like infinities in my head, convincing myself I was fine, and telling myself that people didn’t know what they were talking about. I will admit it: I was selfish, I was a bad person, I was genuinely not a good person to be around. The most important thing I ever did was reflecting and evoking a genuine change in myself.

After left alone, I realized I was going to work on myself first before I decided to make amends with the people I had hurt. After all, you can tell people you have changed, but until you have actually changed, those words are meaningless: words spoke into the abyss. I worked on my insecurities, my anger, until I became rational, confident, and cliffed the mountain of self-doubt I had always wanted to conquer. I realize now that there is no point in feeling bad about your personal appearance. Life is far too short to worry about such things.

The old me is something that was exceptionally flawed, and people go through cycles of change all throughout life. I apologized to people I had hurt, sincerely, and threw myself into my work to prove to people how much I was a different person. Some relationships were mended, some were not. While it is not a good feeling, I completely understand and I know that I did my part, and whether people believe it or not, is their mind. I gained new friends, threw my worries to the wind and stepped out of my comfort zone and challenged myself to be an easier person to talk to and get rid of my doubts.

I am finally out of high school, about to start college, I am 18 years old, and I feel beyond grateful to have finally reached the point where I am proud of myself. I have a new environment, a place I can call home, with people I love and know they love me. My love and admiration for writing and art has grown exponentially and I want to set an example for people to be inspired by, and the best that could ever happen is that my words maybe break someone who dealt with the same things. Even if it is one person, that still means change.

These are the moments that need to be written, the moments where your self-growth astounds yourself; These are the moments that matter. I feel so full of life, full of love, and I am ready for life. We all have life, where nothing is promised. Follow your dreams, pursue your passions, and be the best version of yourself to others, and most of all, to yourself.

I hope everyone reaches their journey, with whatever it may be.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

I'll never forget the day that someone told me these words: "Madison, I think you're a good friend to everyone but yourself." I stood there completely in awe of that statement. Before that day, I never really thought about being a friend to myself, and at the time, I didn't really know what it meant. Now, I realize that you can't fully be there for other people unless you're there for yourself, too. You can't show up for others until you're willing to show up for yourself.

Here are five things everyone should learn in order to be a better friend to themselves. These steps are hard, but they're so worth it.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's no secret that social media can be harmful to our mental health. The barrage of heavily edited photos of Instagram models that we see every day only fuels our insecurities. There is a good side to social media, though. It allows us to keep up with friends and family across the globe. Plus, it provides a platform for mental health experts. Listed below are five therapists on Instagram who will fill your feed with motivational quotes and positive infographics.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

In Honor of PCOS Awareness Month, I Researched 25 Things About The Autoimmune Disease

Ongoing research is further promoting the fact that engaging in a proper diet and exercise regimen can alleviate many symptoms!

63

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common endocrine disorder that affects young women, especially those of reproductive age. Women with PCOS often exhibit symptoms ranging from increased levels of the male hormone androgen along with cysts in their ovaries. However, ongoing research is further promoting the fact that engaging in a proper diet and exercise regimen can alleviate many symptoms! Here are 25 things I found out about PCOS.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ready or not, here come the holidays, friends, and if you're as obsessed with the spirit of the season as I am, you are much more ready than not. Thanks to Hallmark Channel's Monopoly game making it possible to celebrate all year long, you can be ready now, too!

Keep Reading... Show less
Stephanie Tango

The pandemic has been in our world for more than half of 2020 and people are still acting stupid. If anything, they're getting stupider. They think that the virus is gone. It's not. Stop going to frat parties. Stop trying to go places without a mask. I wish things were normal, too. They're not.

Keep Reading... Show less
Kai Parlett

In the summer of 2017, 20 type 1 diabetics completed a 10-week 4,000+ mile bike ride from New York to California. They biked against the advice of doctors, family, and friends. Many were skeptical that people with diabetes could complete such a physically challenging trip without putting themselves in danger due to their disease.

Keep Reading... Show less

That's right, you heard that correctly: Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich called off their engagement after the couple originally announced their engagement in July after beginning to date in March.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

Demi Lovato's Called-Off Engagement Reminds Us Of The Importance Of Taking Our Time In Relationships

While this may be another hardship she sadly has to endure, I know she will find a way to inspire and help others through it.

10263

I am heartbroken.

Keep Reading... Show less

We all love a good ol' sappy Christmas movie and this year, the Hallmark Channel is finally giving us what we want: diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments