Hey guys, long time no see. I haven't been able to write as much, you know how Zoom school can be.
Let's get into it. I am not insane, things are insane to me. There's a big difference. Yes, I have been to what I imagine are my very own personal brinks of insanity before, but that is not the same thing as being insane...let me explain. Each time, at some memorably low point in my life, not a lot would make sense to me, I was hurting in more ways than I understood, and I toughed it out and learned something new along the way. People talk about going insane as if it's a bad thing, but I happen to think the brink brings you one step closer to figuring out who you are. Now I will be sharing three personal experiences I've had "living on the edge" and making it back in one beautiful piece. "Tis illustrated in the list below:
#1). My sophomore year of high school: I was insecure and my parents got divorced. I hit an interesting point in my life and did some things I wouldn't do again. I hurt myself and probably others in the process. At some point shortly after that, I decided I would never let myself be that low again. This was when I realized my attitude defines my character. I like to think of this as my first big change.
#2.) My sophomore year of college: This was more like a 6-10 month long, painful, indistinct trip. There were high highs and low lows during that experience, some of it is still kind of hazy to me. If you know me and know about my private story on Snapchat last year, then you know I was not okay. I felt isolated, bored, empty, and numb. I felt that way until something changed. To put it as best and as legally as I can, at one point, I died. Not only did I realize I needed to pick myself the h*** up, I also realized I couldn't go back to being who I was before. If I was getting a second chance at life, then I couldn't waste it being who I had been. Honestly, that girl didn't make sense to me anymore. That was when and how I learned the importance of doing things with intent and being mindful. (Still a work in progress)
Last, but not least,
#3.) Right now: As I mentioned before: I am not insane, things are insane to me. Some things still don't make sense to me, for example: the need for robots, the public education system, and corporate income tax (we don't need it), but I do. I like who I am and I like the way I think, and as you can probably tell, that has not always been the case. The world won't always make sense to me and sometimes that can be overwhelming, but I do and until the world makes some major changes, that's good enough for me. Yes, I am at the brink of insanity, but I am eagerly looking forward to the moments and instances where I can and will become new.
So, if any readers out there ever find themselves riding the wave: congratulations sweetie, it's only up from here…okay give or take a few exceptions.
"The energy of the mind is the essence of life." and "Happiness depends upon yourself." - A famous Capricorn (not me)
Signed: Living It