Everyone’s been making posts about what they’re expecting for the year of 2016. Better grades, better friends, better health - the works. But I’ve been spending this last week thinking about everything that I’ve been through during the year of 2015. Gaining and losing of friends, death of a loved one, screw-ups of an indescribable magnitude, relationship milestones, and a heck of a lot of self discovery. It’s safe to say I’ve learned my fair share of lessons over the past year.
1. Family Comes First
I know for some of you this is easier said than done and that this isn’t a blanket statement that encompasses everyone. But for those of your who think independence and friends and relationships can override the people that have been there since literal day one, you might need to do some reevaluating. At the end of the day, it’s your family. They’re the one’s that’ll be there when you fail, when you have no one else. They make mistakes, they don’t always say the right thing, but they love you unconditionally and you should never let anything or anyone get in the way of that. It’ll take some work sometimes, but if something matters to you and you want them to see that, you have to work for it. If you’re not willing to work for it, why does it matter so much in the first place?
2. Friends Come and Go
High school friends, childhood friends, college friends. Your cast is ever changing. People you thought you’d never leave suddenly aren’t there anymore. People you thought would fade out have actually stuck around. Unlikely friends are sometimes the best of friends. College taught me that I can go months without talking to some people but when I see them again it’s like no time has passed. And then at the same time, I can see someone every day and talk to them all the time and still feel like they’re always a little too far away. You don’t need a thousand friends, sometimes you just need one or two that’ll be there when things are rough. And that’ll be there to remind you that it’s okay to just goof off every now and again. Remember that your friends are your choice, so if someone is pulling you down, if someone’s making it a little harder to focus on yourself, you have the right to walk away.
3. How You Look Doesn’t Matter
How you feel, does. Honestly, I’ve made the same resolution every year. Lose weight. And that’s probably why it hasn’t worked. Because it’s talking about losing things. Not changing things. So my resolution this year is to get healthy. Going to the gym as a stress reliever not a stress inducer. Actually trying to eat breakfast every morning. Eating all three meals when I’m at school, because let’s be honest here. I eat one, maybe two meals a day when I’m at school and then just drink seven gallons of coffee to make up for my severe lack of energy. So I’ve made some promises to myself to do things like drink more water, and be a little more confident. As in, if I feel like dressing up, I’m going to. But if I don’t feel like wearing makeup and my contacts one day, then I won’t. If I feel awake and healthy and pretty, then I am. And nothing can change that. Confidence can’t be granted with a number on a scale, or with clothes or makeup or anything like that. It’s how I choose to feel about myself. And how you see yourself, that’s all that matters. If you feel good about yourself, then go you.
4. You Don’t Know Who You Are Yet
You don’t. You really don’t. You know bits and pieces of that person, but the whole picture is still being worked on. You could spend these four years with your heart set on one thing and then realize that maybe it isn’t the right thing after all. And listen to me, that’s totally okay. College aged kids are still developing, still progressing along in their brains and in their comprehension of the world around them. Some of us are a little too passive, or a little too strong-headed and maybe we can learn from one another. Maybe you fail out of college at some point. Okay. Pick yourself up, and start thinking about the next step. There’s no end to anything until the day you die. So every failure, every slip up, every lost friend or relationship, means its time to start finding another path. It doesn’t mean give up on yourself. It means try again, try it a little differently, just try.
