Growing up, I can honestly say that I never really felt comfortable in my own skin. I know, cliché right? But that’s the thing – so many young girls and boys say those exact words, and this is a huge problem that needs to be addressed, time and time again.

Too fat. Too tall. Too skinny. Too short. Who’s to say anyone is “too” anything? Since when were there rules regarding the way a person should look? I know it’s so easy to say “Oh, just brush it off. They’re just words.” But it’s not that easy to actually do. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” False. Words definitely do hurt, as much as we would like to think otherwise. Once someone hears even the smallest amount of criticism, they remember those words for a very long time – sometimes for the rest of their lives. I remember someone once telling me that I had somewhat of a large nose. Up until that point, I’d never really thought about that part of my face that much. You better believe that now my nose is one of my biggest insecurities. How absurd is that!

I remember walking down the hallways in my high school and hearing girls criticize others, always saying something along the lines of, “Wow, so and so looks so terrible today.” Or, “Why is she wearing that?” I thought back then that I just attended school with some insecure girls who needed to talk badly about others to make themselves feel okay, but then I realized a few years later that even grown adults speak this way! The way human beings talk about one another is extremely discouraging, especially when it comes to appearances.

It's really difficult for me to grasp why people feel the need to "hate" on the way people dress and choose to display their personalities.

I have always felt as though I was too “big” to wear certain clothes. Shorts? Nope, black leggings, even in the scorching heat of the summer. Cute tank tops? My arms are a bit too flabby for that, I’ll stick with my t-shirts. Crop tops? That’s hilarious, just... no. So for years and years I was so limited when it came to what I could wear. It’s not that I didn’t like these things, or that I didn’t find them cute or stylish. It was that I didn’t want to risk overhearing what people would say about me. I didn’t want others to look at me and think “Gross.”

This is a thought that has gone through every single person’s head at one point in their lives, some more than others. Sooner or later, you’re just going to have to stop caring what other people think and do what makes you happy. I have definitely started doing this a lot more lately. Over the last two years, I have bought approximately eight pairs of shorts (that’s a lot for me!), and I wear them out almost daily during the summer. Yes, I still feel self-conscious here and there, but then I remember that I feel comfortable in these clothes, rather than covering myself up under layers upon layers.

I posted the following picture on Instagram/Facebook a few months back, and the feedback I received from it was amazing.

There were people that I hadn’t spoken to in years who were telling me how beautiful of a person I was for posting such words. Me? A beautiful person for simply stating my opinion? For just expressing how hard it is for an individual to get out of bed and feel confident on any given day, and how we shouldn’t judge them for doing so? I felt so empowered by their words. I then realized that if society could just understand that inspiring others to feel their best by lifting them up instead of making them feel terrible by ripping them apart, the world be a much better place. The happiness that one small compliment can bring a person is immense. The negativity that body-shaming brings a person can scar them for a lifetime. If you are someone who says that a girl “her size” shouldn’t be wearing something, you are the problem. If you say that he’s “too scrawny” to wear cut-offs, you are the problem. If you continuously judge others on their appearance, even without realizing you are doing so, you are the problem. We all need this reminder, and we all need to help change the way society views body-shaming as an acceptable form of assessment.

I was in American Eagle a few days ago, and upon checking out, one of the employees was folding some shirts at the register, while the other employee was ringing up my purchases. She held up a crop top and said, “I wish I could wear cute things like this, but I’m too chubby.” Yes, this woman was pretty curvy, but she was also beautiful. I chuckled and she glanced up at me, and her eyes widened. I was wearing that same crop top with a jean jacket/shirt on over top of it. She gave me a polite smile and said, “Well, you’re not THAT chubby…” And then realized what she had said. I think she felt a little awkward to say the least, so I laughed and said that I hadn’t always felt comfortable wearing things like this shirt, but that I felt it was super cute when I saw it a few weeks ago and just went for it. Even though I still felt a little self-conscious wearing it out that day – I did it. She smiled and said, “Wow, you know what… You’ve just inspired me to buy this and wear it.” And I could tell that she genuinely meant it.

You never know how your words will effect someone. You never know if people somehow overhear your silent disapproving whispers about them. On the other hand, you never know how your courage may inspire someone else. Confidence is one of the greatest qualities a person can possess, even if you have to "fake it 'til you make it" at first. Insecurities are inevitable, but with time, you can work past them. Remember to be brave, kind, and confident in what you do, and the world will be a better place. One day, I truly hope that body-shaming will become a thing of the past, and that society as a whole will become a less judgmental entity and instead a more positive part of our lives.