“You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile.” My girl, Taylor Swift, said it best. You define your own beauty and you decide what makes you beautiful. Your self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem … they don’t depend on outer assurance from others. Why do you think they’re all prefixed with “self?” Now don’t get me wrong, compliments are always welcome and, of course, appreciated, but compliments are simply reassurance. The assurance must come from you.

Last summer, I came across a collection of tweets ignorantly critiquing women’s bodies and the clothing that they wear:

“If you’re over 125 lbs don’t wear leggings.”

“If you’re a girl and you’re over 130 you aren’t invited.”

“Please don’t wear belly shirts if you’re over 130 … please.”

“If you're over 130 pounds, don't wear short shorts or crop tops."

To say I was a little heated after reading these would be a total understatement. I didn’t realize that the clothing a woman decides to put on her body depends on the input of others! …Oh wait. That’s because a woman’s choice of clothing, regardless of her weight, does not depend on the input of others. And since when did 130 pounds become the “ideal” weight for all females? I far surpass the 130 lb. mark, and I proudly admit it! There is absolutely nothing wrong with me rejoicing in that fact. My body simply isn’t built to be that weight, and I am slowly but surely coming to terms with that. I think it would surprise the posters of these tweets the weights of some people who appear thin to them. Chances are, many of them also surpass their narrow-minded 130-pound view.

Now, a few weeks prior to reading these entirely bigoted tweets, I built up the courage to try on, and in turn, purchase a crop top. The crop top that changed my view of myself. I know, I know. It sounds so silly and trivial, but please (try to?) take me seriously when I say that I put this one piece of clothing on and my entire perspective shifted. I joked with the friends who encouraged me to try it on that my belly had never seen the light of day! To be fair, the top shows just the tiniest bit of skin, but this was huge for me. Up until that moment, I had spent my whole life working to keep as much of myself covered in the hopes that no one would judge my curvy body for what it was. I had been in the process of learning self-acceptance for years, but with that crop top and a skater skirt, I had somehow found a confidence within myself I never knew I had. And I will have you know, that crop top still to this day remains my absolute favorite piece in my wardrobe.

I’m finally at a point in my life where I can say that I love myself. I love my short hair because it gives me nothing to hide behind. I love my blue eyes because they match my dad’s. I love my loud laugh because it means I am lucky enough to have something to smile about. Some days I love my curves. Some days I don’t. But I wholly appreciate my flaws, and wholly appreciate my body for all that it is. And I appreciate myself -- my optimism, my determination, my quick wit -- for all that I am. I’m not perfect, and I will never claim to be.

Sure, there’s a lot I could change. I could stop eating chocolate by the bar. I could replace the cream and sugar in my iced coffee with skim milk and Splenda. I could go for a walk rather than binge-watch season two of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” on Netflix. And sometimes I do make all of the former choices! But I refuse to internally beat myself up when I don’t. I will remain unapologetic to myself, and I will especially remain unapologetic to obtuse strangers when it comes to the decisions I make about my own body.

So ladies and gents, wear whatever you want to wear. Try on clothes you wouldn’t normally go for. Who knows what they could do for you, both physically and mentally! And please, please, please, disregard the dense and dated opinions of strangers. I found confidence from a crop top and somehow finally felt self-assured. You will have both good and bad days, but do yourself a favor and try to give yourself at least one compliment a day. I really think we are harsher to ourselves than any anonymous internet troll. Imagine if you talked to people the way you talk to yourself. Would you tell the next person you walk past the last hurtful thing you told yourself? Remember: self-confidence starts with you. Self-assurance starts with you. Love starts with you. The reassurance from others will follow.

I hope you can look in the mirror someday -- today, tomorrow, next week, next year -- and realize that you are worth loving. Now, go turn on some Beyoncé, sing into a hairbrush, and try your very best to put your love on top.