When I was younger and people told me about their long-distance relationships, I would feel sad for them and reluctant to believe it would work out for them without growing to be toxic or painful.
I couldn't imagine loving another person so much and having to be distanced from them by hundreds and thousands of miles. I couldn't even imagine the relationship working out for them.
In my senior year of high school, I found myself in a long-term relationship in which we went to prom together, graduated together, went on day trips to the beach with our friends, even attended the same university for our first year of college and then the news broke: I got into my dream university, but I would be leaving when the summer ends.
The news put a strain on our relationship for many reasons, which was very strained already without adding this to the equation. One reason was that I'd be making a new life for myself elsewhere without him and continuing my education while he continued to work laborious jobs in our hometown with no intention of leaving anytime soon.
I ignored my feelings about long-distance relationships and believed it would be different with him because I wanted it so desperately to work. I remember my family even tried to prepare me for the eventual heartbreak that they saw coming, we watched "Someone Great" as a family and it dropped subtle hints. I got the hints but would think, "Oh yea, that's not going to be us." Well, as you can easily infer from the headline of this article, it blew up in my face only about a month into it. It turned into this toxic mess of a breakup.
As you can imagine, my skepticism in long-distance relationships was now at an all-time high, confirming my belief that long-distance relationships just don't work.
I pushed that to the back of my mind since I was ready to forget boys existed and focus on my friends, my studies, and only doing things that made me happy and grow in any way. It was a therapeutic, liberating, and crazy time for me. I got used to the independent life that I had been craving for so long, dated a few guys, and went on spontaneous trips with my friends, the whole shebang!
Until… COVID-19 hit and universities nationwide sent us home for a prolonged spring break. I started working for my father and attended Zoom University. I didn't know anyone there and was pretty guarded, to say the least.
I made a friend at work and I just knew that my life changed forever at that moment. He was like no one I had ever met before — hilarious, confident, Catholic, democratic, really the list goes on. We started out as great friends and it stayed that way for a while.
Throughout all that time, I started suppressing my feelings because I knew once summer ended, we would both have to part ways since he played on an athletic scholarship outside of Texas. There was a big flaw in doing that, the more I talked to him, the more my feelings for him developed.
Eventually, I couldn't suppress them anymore and we told each other how we felt about one another. I was transparent about how I felt about long-distance relationships and he would reassure me saying he would never make me do anything I didn't want to do. Although I wanted nothing more than to be with him, I was terrified that if we tried long-distance it would turn sour like my last one and blow up something I truly thought could be special.
He always believed it would be worth the shot. Truthfully, I was the only one scared to give it a chance.
As more time went on, I began to understand that the real reason my last relationship didn't work was that my ex wasn't the right one with whom to be doing long distance. It wasn't the fault of it being a long-distance relationship, it was the wrong person.
It was at that exact moment that I realized doing long-distance was giving it the best chance we could. If it did blow up, I wouldn't regret it, I would be happy we gave it our best shot. My boyfriend and I have now been doing long distance since the beginning of August.
I had always believed long distance was hard because of two people going in different directions in life and still trying to make things work. With both of us working on our continued education and having similar goals in life, I know we are both on the same path.
Deciding to try long-distance is a decision I know I'll never regret making because he is the right person to be doing this with.
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