I never imagined I would be in a long distance relationship while at college, in fact a year ago I couldn’t even fathom the idea. It’s hard to balance normal college life and adding a boyfriend into the mix seemed like an unnecessary complication, especially one that wouldn’t be close by. However you never know when you’re going to meet someone that lights up your whole world and makes you feel like butterflies have inhabited your stomach. When you meet such a person the prospect of a relationship, long distance or otherwise, becomes less of a complication and more of a necessity. Despite my conversion to the world of long distance dating there are still pros and cons to the situation.

Cons:

• Conversation isn’t always easy: It would seem that being in a long distance relationship would breed more conversation simply because you can tell each other about your entire day. However this isn’t always the case. The fact of the matter is that life is messy and things come up. Sometimes a project gets forgotten and all of a sudden that daily call just won’t be possible. Our conflicting schedules means that some days a consistent conversation just isn’t possible. It can be hard not to share all the amazing parts of your day with someone who is important to you and can be discouraging at times. The best thing to do when this happens is remember that things come up and it’s better to be understanding than upset about it. They aren’t doing it on purpose, and it just means that you will have more to talk about next time.
• It’s easy to feel jealous: When missing your significant other, it can be easy to feel jealous. Walking to class there are lots of couples that are holding hands and spending time together. Sometimes this makes you feel nostalgic and miss the person that would hold your hand. I know that I’ve seen couples before and felt jealous that they get to see each other throughout the week, but try not to get swept up in this feeling. It’s easy to feel bad for yourself and wish things were different, just try to remember that you have someone who cares for you even if they can’t be with you in that moment. Jealousy also comes from friends, if you’re missing your partner and they are off with friends, the little green monster can rear its ugly head. In these moments one can feel neglected, especially if they aren’t off with friends of their own. Try not to worry though, your partner is just having some fun but they are most definitely missing you too. Even if you can’t see it in that moment.
• It’s hard to be far away: No matter how solid a relationship is, it’s still hard to be far away from a significant other. There are always going to be bad days were you feel like nothing is going to work out. Whether it be because of a fight or because you just miss them so much or maybe even that you are feeling neglected. Things don’t always go the way you want them to and, in the process, people’s feelings can get hurt. Not only that, but missing someone is very hard to handle, especially when in high stress situations. It’s in those moments that things seem to be crashing down. But try to stay positive and be honest with one another. Yes, distance is hard and you’re going to miss each other. Yes, schedules don’t always coincide and you can feel like you will never see them again. Yes, sometimes you get forgotten in the chaos of the day and feel neglected. But as long as you communicate and work together, your relationship will stay afloat.

Pros:

• Moments together are cherished: It can be easy to take moments with your partner for granted if you see them every day. In a long distance relationship every moment is precious because there aren’t as many of them. I know when I see my boyfriend I’m always excited for a few hours up until I see him and proceed to make the most of our limited time together. Every text makes me smile and even skype sessions or calls can easily become a highlight of the day. When time together is so limited, everything is appreciated a little more and feels special.
• Come up with ways to surprise each other: It’s easy to take things for granted in a long distance relationship which is why little surprises are nice. When getting together with your partner, both parties should work to make the time memorable. I remember right before leaving for college I took my boyfriend on an adventure for ice cream and up into the trees for an aerial optical course. The whole night was full of laughs and memories that won’t be forgotten easily. It’s easier to surprise one another and think about ways to have an amazing adventure when separate from one another. Instead of sitting on the couch watching a movie, the time is more active and catered toward making memories. Not to say that snuggling up for a movie isn’t appreciated at the end of a long day together.
• It gives space: There are a lot of stresses in college and it’s hard to balance everything. Between school and a social life, balancing everything can feel like walking on a tight rope, and now add a significant other into the mix. While being away from them is difficult, it also allows for space to get things done and hang out with friends or participate in activities. There are many couples who neglect friends or activities to be together constantly, which can cause animosity. Being apart allows the space to balance friends, a social life, and school more easily during the week while still maintaining a relationship. It sucks to be away from the person you care about but at least it allows some balance in life.

Long distance relationships can be hard and don’t always work out. It’s easy to get swept up in the negative aspects and talk yourself out of a perfectly good relationship. At the end of the day it’s all about attitude, if you care for the person and want to make it work then you will. Its only when one person gives up that things fall apart. Try to remember that communication is key and to look on the positive side of everything. Look forward to seeing them again instead of moping about them not being around. Be there for them whenever you can and they will do the same, and keep this in mind when life gets in the way of conversation. Make every moment together special and be happy that you have someone who makes you feel so good about yourself. Ultimately a successful long distance relationship is about working together to keep things going, if they aren’t willing to put in the effort, they aren’t worth your time anyway.