At the end of my senior year, I was exactly where I wanted to be when it came to relationships: I had left an on-and-off long-term boyfriend for good, and because of that, my life finally felt like it was falling into place. I focused more of my time on things that I actually cared about, like finding my roommate for college and picking out everything for my dorm room. I was happier than I had been getting in and out of relationships all four years of high school -- and that isn't to say that none of them made me happy. They did, but they all ended. College was a beginning, not an ending, and I didn't plan on coming to Wilmington with anything but a clear mind and an open heart. Then, when I had sworn off boys for the rest of the year with the intent to enjoy myself and possibly meet someone in college, I stumbled upon my current boyfriend in a UNCW group chat -- who lived three and a half hours away from me in Wilmington, North Carolina.
I was bewildered by the idea of embarking in a new relationship, especially since he was going to be so far away from me for almost four months. Usually, when teens go to college, it means leaving their significant other, not joining them. Most people feel discouraged by long-distance relationships, and I understand why. Being away from someone that you love can be so incredibly hard. Both parties are busy a lot of the time, and then you start having trouble finding time just to talk to one another. Suddenly, you're in two different places geographically and emotionally. There's also a level of trust that not everyone has with their boyfriend/girlfriend (though that should be a hint right there that the relationship isn't the one for you).
As someone who believes in everything happening for a reason, I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps this was a challenge that would make my relationship stronger rather than weaker. Harry, my boyfriend, would see me infrequently until we moved in, forcing both of us to actually get to know each other and build a relationship built more on being attracted to each other's personalities than being attracted to each other physically. It wasn't about the way that he kissed me or how nice it felt for him to hold me, but how much I loved that I could talk on the phone with him for hours at a time and never get bored. That was how I knew that when we actually got to college, our relationship wouldn't end.
This made me realize that though not all relationships are made to work long distance, the ones that are really meant to be will prevail. You have to work to make it work, but time apart can make you appreciate your significant other even more than you thought possible. It can also enable trust in them, and fortify your relationship from any other obstacles that can leave you feeling insecure about it. I wouldn't exactly recommend a long-distance relationship, but there's no reason to look at it like a death sentence. It could revive or even create a new beginning for your relationship.
