Long-distance.
It’s been called “crazy,” “futile,” “romantic,” and both a good idea and a bad one. Most people will say it comes down to each relationship and each person. I’d have to say I agree. And largely, it comes down to making a decision for yourself that it’s something you want.
I went into my LDR admittedly less than optimistic, but so far it has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Not only because of the relationship itself, but because of what I have learned about myself.
1. I’ve learned that if I want something, that makes all the difference.
Making the decision to make it work creates a whole new playing field. I think the biggest reason many may fail may be because of the level of commitment it requires. A successful LD relationship requires a decision from both people to give it their all. I have learned the power that I have over my own success if I make the choice to commit to something.
2. I now know how to be lonely and, more importantly, learned that I can do it.
Being lonely when you’re in an LDR is a whole different experience than being lonely while single. It’s horrible. It’s exhausting. When you’re single, it’s easier to focus on yourself and satisfying your own happiness. In an LDR, there is a specific someone you miss that you know would be with you if they could. It causes an ache in your heart that can’t really be dulled. And yet, I have learned how to wake up every day and live my own life anyway, (while maintaining the art of counting down days till the next visit).
3. Holy moly I can be jealous.
I have never EVER been a jealous person. But, for the first time, I am jealous of simple time with him. Of the ability to be a part of his everyday life. And, I am now in a relationship where I have to understand that jealousy in return. But I’m learning how to be considerate and understanding on a completely different level.
4. I’ve learned how to express feelings and communicate over the phone… it’s not easy.
I’ve never been good at talking about how I feel. We fought just the other day, and halfway through we both realized that it was a problem that wouldn’t even exist if we were in the same city. Despite how annoying that feels, it’s only making us better.
We are becoming pros at communicating with each other (communication is key, right?). We had a disagreement while together the last time I visited and let me tell you, IT WAS A BREEZE. Being able to hug someone after a resolution makes a world of difference. However, the long distance has made me a better person, a better communicator and it has made me grow in my own self-awareness.
5. I’ve learned to disregard the naysayers.
There are a surprising number of people who will demean distance relationships or belittle their validity. There are many who will be quick to point out the hardships you will face. But I have learned to believe in myself and what I want. Even if it turns out they’re right, I will have gained all the more for giving it my all.
Relationships that are long-distance certainly don’t work for everyone. I believe though that they can certainly be worth it, and they can make you a better person. Mine certainly has.
