I met my best friend in fifth grade. As cliché as it sounds, I knew there was a connection there from the start. I remember exactly how we met, what day, and what we were doing. Odd, I know. But from then on, we were seriously inseparable.
Growing up, I could go to her with anything. It didn't matter that we came from different backgrounds, had different opinions, and saw the world in a different light. We accepted our differences and it made us stronger. Sure, we don't always see eye to eye on some situations, but it has never stopped us from confiding in one another and trusting each other's judgments.
My eighth-grade year, I moved a half hour away. It wasn't super far but because our parents couldn't always drive us to see one another, we relied on a constant mobile connection to keep us close. Eventually, we got old enough to drive and we always made sure to make time for each other. As the story goes on, my freshman year in college we lived together and spent more time together the next two years than ever.
Like any relationship, you want someone to understand you, to love you, to be there for you. You want them to know you so well that when they judge you, it's because they want what's best for you—a judgment that is positive and truthful rather than negative. I knew I could count on her for anything. The longer we were friends, the more appreciative I was to have someone around that stuck through all of the tough teenage years.
We were so close that if we weren't spending time together, we were constantly texting. Eventually, she moved across the country and although I had known for a while before she moved, it didn't hit me until she was already gone for a few weeks. After that, and still after almost a year, I'll lay in bed every now and then and cry. I go through life always being reminded of things we'd do together, or instantly think of her when something happens in my day that I can't NOT tell her about. It sucks.
I knew we were super close. I knew that she was the one person who knew everything about me, that she accepted me, that she would laugh so hysterically with me on a daily basis. What I didn't know was that my best friend wouldn't be there to share memories with me any longer. It wasn't like she was gone forever or that we wouldn't talk, but no one prepared me for when adulthood came. They didn't say that you'd grow up, develop intimate relationships, have a family and move away. They didn't say that likely, your lives, relationships, jobs, kids, and everything else might take you away from the people you love.
I wasn't prepared for her to leave. I wasn't prepared to come home every night without spending time with her. I wasn't ready to go every day without seeing her. I wasn't ready to let go.
It did, at first, feel like I lost her. But no matter how far apart we were, we made it work. We'd Snapchat, text, and sometimes call one another. She came home for Christmas break, and I kid you not, every day that she was here, I was spending every second I could with her. It never felt like enough time. My heart was full, and my being felt relief. For a short time, everything went back to normal and spending time with her felt like she had never left. Eventually, she had to go back home, and it was the hardest thing to accept.
What I'm getting at is that long-distance friendships are extremely hard. Knowing that I'll only get to see my best friend, at best, twice a year is awful. No matter how many friends I make and no matter how close those friends and I get, no one can develop the bond that my best friend and I have developed since fifth grade.
I hate that when we have kids, they won't grow up together. I hate that I'm missing out on memories. But no matter all of these circumstances, I'm just glad to have such a special, understanding and carefree person to be a part of my life even if it is mostly through my phone.
To Abby,
I hope you know how much of an impact you have made on my life since we met. I hope you know how important you are and how much of a blessing you are. Thank you for everything, sincerely. I don't know where I'd be without you.
Love you,
Rubes
