Long Distance Friendships Are Hard

Long Distance Friendships Are Hard

I knew that she was the one person who knew everything about me, that she accepted me, that she would laugh so hysterically with me on a daily basis; what I didn't know was that my best friend wouldn't be there to share memories with me any longer.

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I met my best friend in fifth grade. As cliché as it sounds, I knew there was a connection there from the start. I remember exactly how we met, what day, and what we were doing. Odd, I know. But from then on, we were seriously inseparable.

Growing up, I could go to her with anything. It didn't matter that we came from different backgrounds, had different opinions, and saw the world in a different light. We accepted our differences and it made us stronger. Sure, we don't always see eye to eye on some situations, but it has never stopped us from confiding in one another and trusting each other's judgments.

My eighth-grade year, I moved a half hour away. It wasn't super far but because our parents couldn't always drive us to see one another, we relied on a constant mobile connection to keep us close. Eventually, we got old enough to drive and we always made sure to make time for each other. As the story goes on, my freshman year in college we lived together and spent more time together the next two years than ever.

Like any relationship, you want someone to understand you, to love you, to be there for you. You want them to know you so well that when they judge you, it's because they want what's best for you—a judgment that is positive and truthful rather than negative. I knew I could count on her for anything. The longer we were friends, the more appreciative I was to have someone around that stuck through all of the tough teenage years.

We were so close that if we weren't spending time together, we were constantly texting. Eventually, she moved across the country and although I had known for a while before she moved, it didn't hit me until she was already gone for a few weeks. After that, and still after almost a year, I'll lay in bed every now and then and cry. I go through life always being reminded of things we'd do together, or instantly think of her when something happens in my day that I can't NOT tell her about. It sucks.

I knew we were super close. I knew that she was the one person who knew everything about me, that she accepted me, that she would laugh so hysterically with me on a daily basis. What I didn't know was that my best friend wouldn't be there to share memories with me any longer. It wasn't like she was gone forever or that we wouldn't talk, but no one prepared me for when adulthood came. They didn't say that you'd grow up, develop intimate relationships, have a family and move away. They didn't say that likely, your lives, relationships, jobs, kids, and everything else might take you away from the people you love.

I wasn't prepared for her to leave. I wasn't prepared to come home every night without spending time with her. I wasn't ready to go every day without seeing her. I wasn't ready to let go.

It did, at first, feel like I lost her. But no matter how far apart we were, we made it work. We'd Snapchat, text, and sometimes call one another. She came home for Christmas break, and I kid you not, every day that she was here, I was spending every second I could with her. It never felt like enough time. My heart was full, and my being felt relief. For a short time, everything went back to normal and spending time with her felt like she had never left. Eventually, she had to go back home, and it was the hardest thing to accept.

What I'm getting at is that long-distance friendships are extremely hard. Knowing that I'll only get to see my best friend, at best, twice a year is awful. No matter how many friends I make and no matter how close those friends and I get, no one can develop the bond that my best friend and I have developed since fifth grade.

I hate that when we have kids, they won't grow up together. I hate that I'm missing out on memories. But no matter all of these circumstances, I'm just glad to have such a special, understanding and carefree person to be a part of my life even if it is mostly through my phone.

To Abby,

I hope you know how much of an impact you have made on my life since we met. I hope you know how important you are and how much of a blessing you are. Thank you for everything, sincerely. I don't know where I'd be without you.

Love you,
Rubes

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To My Best Friend Who Doesn’t Know How Strong She Is

Always better together.
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To the one I know I will always have by my side,

First off, thank you. Thanks for dealing with all my shit: my mess, drama, tears, and weirdness. There are so many reasons why you are my best friend; you are funny, amazing, kind and unbelievably supportive. I am beyond lucky to have someone that gets me and has been there with me through the best of times and the worst of times.

You are strong

Life is difficult; I think we have both realized that by now. Whether you believe me or not you are kicking everything being thrown at you in the ass. You have been through everything and more and have always come out of it a stronger, and better person. You are never alone and you know that; we have been there for each other for years and that will never end.

You are special

I have never met anyone with a bigger heart than you; you sympathize with anyone that comes to you for advice. You take things to heart and look at the world in a unique and beautiful way. You appreciate the little things in life, watching Dance movies with your mom, a late night snack at Taco Bell, driving with the top down and dancing like no one is watching.

You are beautiful

You are way more beautiful than you think. You’ve got softness to you that is calming, a smile that is contagious, and a gorgeous girl with so much to offer. You are filled with love and compassion, an amazing writer, dancer and overall an amazing and beautiful person.

You can get through anything

I know you are going through a hard time right now, but look at how far you’ve come. You have gone through way worse and you will get through this just like you have in the past. You will become even more powerful than you already are. You are experienced and that’s part of what makes me love you so much. We have gone through a lot together and we know that whatever life throws at us we can handle it.

I am always here

Your hardship is my hardship, but keep your head up high just like I know you can. You have so much love in your life, from your family, your friends and me. I love you, I have never had a friend like you and I am so grateful every day because of it. You are going to get through this. You are going to get through it because you are, powerful, you are beautiful and you are strong.

~Written with love and appreciation for the most amazing friend I could ever ask for~

Cover Image Credit: Sarah Richman

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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