Talking Every Day Doesn't Mean Best Friends

Talking Every Day Doesn't Mean Best Friends

This is for all the long-distance best friends, even if long distance is 30 minutes.

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Growing up, I've never gone to school around my house. They've always been about 30 minutes away from where I live, and because of this, I've made friends that live across very different places in Indianapolis.

When I was just 4 years old, I met one of my very best friends, Raya. She was a grade above me, but we ended up becoming super close. We ended up going to school together for quite some time, but eventually, she moved to a different school, so I didn't get to see her every day. So, we did what every normal pre-teen would do, and we called each other on our home phones and played Webkinz together over the phone for hours on end. But eventually we both grew up and got busy, and we stopped calling. And when it came time for us to have cell phones, there came a time when we would stop texting.

Through Raya, I met a girl named Gillian. She went to the school that Raya moved to, and we became very close very fast. The best thing about our friendship is that we are so different but so much alike that sometimes I think we share the same brain. The tricky part with us though is that we never went to the same school. There were a lot of times when our schedules didn't add up and we would go months without seeing each other. During those times, we would do our best to text or talk on the phone, but honestly, sometimes it's really hard. Now, Gillian goes to Loyola and even though there is just an hour time difference, I feel like we are light years away. We do our best to text back, but it's easy to forget or start to respond and something come up.

My best friends from my high school and I all go to different schools. We're scattered between IU, Purdue, Ball State, UIndy, and so many more. One thing that I've found in my first few months of college is that I'm horrible at responding. There are so many times where I'll read over a conversation and start to respond and then I get distracted by an assignment or realize I'm running late and just forget. Communication can be difficult when everyone runs on different schedules.

However, what I've found since I was friends with Raya, is that you don't have to talk to a friend every day for them to be deemed a 'best friend'. The beautiful thing about having best friends is that it doesn't matter how long you haven't talked to them, the second you're with them it feels like you saw them just yesterday. There are times when I feel horrible that I forget to respond, I get too busy to FaceTime, or I don't get to go visit. But not a day goes by where I don't think of the people that mean most to me, the people who I might not talk to every day, but I hold a lifetimes worth of memories with.

Starting to see these friends as we all get back from break has really shown me what it means to be best friends. It isn't about a Snapchat streak, a FaceTime call, or a text message. It's about the hug you get when you see them for the first time in a while, the one where you don't want to let you. It's the jokes you make during a game of Fish Bowl or crying watching YouTube videos together. It's about knowing that no matter how long you may not talk to them, for whatever reason, they're always going to be there to make you laugh until your stomach hurts.

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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Let's be real: you and your roommate have said these things at least one to each other.

1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*Complains about not having money* *Spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee."

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your DM's."

*Cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *Catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*Chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *Loses phone* Every. Time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*Tries to get ready to do something fun* *Ends up staying in for another girls' night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"

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Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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