Talking Every Day Doesn't Mean Best Friends

Talking Every Day Doesn't Mean Best Friends

This is for all the long-distance best friends, even if long distance is 30 minutes.


Growing up, I've never gone to school around my house. They've always been about 30 minutes away from where I live, and because of this, I've made friends that live across very different places in Indianapolis.

When I was just 4 years old, I met one of my very best friends, Raya. She was a grade above me, but we ended up becoming super close. We ended up going to school together for quite some time, but eventually, she moved to a different school, so I didn't get to see her every day. So, we did what every normal pre-teen would do, and we called each other on our home phones and played Webkinz together over the phone for hours on end. But eventually we both grew up and got busy, and we stopped calling. And when it came time for us to have cell phones, there came a time when we would stop texting.

Through Raya, I met a girl named Gillian. She went to the school that Raya moved to, and we became very close very fast. The best thing about our friendship is that we are so different but so much alike that sometimes I think we share the same brain. The tricky part with us though is that we never went to the same school. There were a lot of times when our schedules didn't add up and we would go months without seeing each other. During those times, we would do our best to text or talk on the phone, but honestly, sometimes it's really hard. Now, Gillian goes to Loyola and even though there is just an hour time difference, I feel like we are light years away. We do our best to text back, but it's easy to forget or start to respond and something come up.

My best friends from my high school and I all go to different schools. We're scattered between IU, Purdue, Ball State, UIndy, and so many more. One thing that I've found in my first few months of college is that I'm horrible at responding. There are so many times where I'll read over a conversation and start to respond and then I get distracted by an assignment or realize I'm running late and just forget. Communication can be difficult when everyone runs on different schedules.

However, what I've found since I was friends with Raya, is that you don't have to talk to a friend every day for them to be deemed a 'best friend'. The beautiful thing about having best friends is that it doesn't matter how long you haven't talked to them, the second you're with them it feels like you saw them just yesterday. There are times when I feel horrible that I forget to respond, I get too busy to FaceTime, or I don't get to go visit. But not a day goes by where I don't think of the people that mean most to me, the people who I might not talk to every day, but I hold a lifetimes worth of memories with.

Starting to see these friends as we all get back from break has really shown me what it means to be best friends. It isn't about a Snapchat streak, a FaceTime call, or a text message. It's about the hug you get when you see them for the first time in a while, the one where you don't want to let you. It's the jokes you make during a game of Fish Bowl or crying watching YouTube videos together. It's about knowing that no matter how long you may not talk to them, for whatever reason, they're always going to be there to make you laugh until your stomach hurts.

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A Letter To My Ex-Best Friend

I wish things had ended differently.


You were my best friend for eleven years. We grew up together, hit milestones together, and did everything together. We helped each other through our parents' divorces, the struggles of high school, mental health breakdowns, and everything else that was thrown at us. Whenever I needed a pick me up, you were the one I went to.

You were a part of my family. You could walk right into my house and no one would even bat an eye. You fought with my brother the way I did and messed with my parents the way I did. You would even text my sister. Most of my family vacations included you. I got into some huge trouble with you, but we also thrived together.

We helped each other choose outfits. I dragged you along to all my dates because I was way too nervous to go alone. We had so many nights of endless laughter over things that really weren't even funny.

You were my person.

But high school changed things. We began to gravitate towards separate friend groups. No more good morning texts, no more venting about the annoying girl in your first period that had a crush on the same boy as you. I stopped hearing about your boy drama.

And one day it stopped completely.

When we saw each other in the hallways, we pretended we didn't. Our memories faded and became just that; memories. We stopped asking each other's lunch plans and making plans with each other in general. We once knew so much about each other we couldn't even tell where one person started and the other ended. But now we're strangers.

And boy, do I miss you.

A lot of people feel bitterness towards their ex-best friends. Angry at the way things ended. I just feel a longing for the way things once were. Yes, our friendship didn't really end in the most civil way. But that doesn't take away from the years of tears, laughter, family vacations, and countless memories we made.

I don't feel angry at you, I just wish we never lost each other.

I think about you a lot. Whenever I see you in passing or on social media, I think about what things may have been like if we never parted ways. I think about how strong our friendship would have been. And it honestly breaks my heart.

I want you to know I have no hard feelings towards you. I know things will never be the same, but I will cherish our memories forever.

Thank you for being such a huge part of my life.

Thank you for not only helping me grow up but growing up alongside me as well.

Thank you for getting me through the tough times, from my parents' divorce to something as simple as a middle school break up.

Thank you for being my person for my entire childhood. You are the reason I'm here today and I will never forget that.

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