We are members of the age of the internet, and because this new type of connection has become increasingly popular, the long distance relationship has become easier. This relationship is no longer just heartfelt letters from the battlefield or damsels waving handkerchiefs to their men in navy uniforms. We are at a place in time where we are able to be instantly connected to people all over the world, and this allows for so many beautiful things. For me, it’s the connection to my best friend.
My best friend and I spent 5 years of our childhood together, but our true friendship really started upon my leaving.
I moved two hours away, and seeing each other on holiday breaks became a regular part of our lives. As young teenagers we made lists of things we were going to do as best friends: our combined bucket list. One of the things on this list was we were going to live together. Quite frankly, it didn’t hit me until this past January that it is never going to happen.
She goes to school in New York now, has fallen in love with the city, and her path in life is going to keep her there. Just the same, I’ve fallen in love with Portland and intend on being a west-coaster for the rest of my days. We will never live together. Those little girls who grew up imagining their lives together didn’t see this coming, and when it started to become clear, we ignored it.
The young girl inside me will always have a little ache in her heart that part of their bucket list won’t be complete. But there is a much bigger part of me that realizes distance really does mean nothing when the person means everything. It’s a worn out cliché, but it is so popular for a reason.
Distance means looking up cheap cross country flights together via Skype and picking up right where we left off. It means that we are on our phones A LOT, fielding questions about clothing choices and excitement when there’s a new song I just have to hear.
Being best friends with someone who lives far away is an opportunity, not a loss. It’s an opportunity to be in two places at once.
My life is enriched due to her. I get to be a part of her New York lifestyle and experience secondhand everything she’s experiencing. I get new ideas and new perspectives every single day because our lives are moving in different directions. I know that, because of this, we will never get bored of each other.
Distance has given us space; even your best friend can drive you up the wall. Distance played a huge role in our emotional education. Because of the space, we learned how to be honest with each other and how to admit our shortcomings because we felt that the space gave us safety. And now, as adults, we’re able to apply this emotional maturity to close and far away relationships.
Long distance allows us to appreciate the time spent with the other person. As much as I will always cherish the days of watching The Office and eating Oreos, knowing that the time we get is precious, pushes us to make it count when we’re together. It’s taught us that we should treat every relationship the same: make the time that you have with people count.
Having a long distance best friend is hard. Crying over Skype might never compare to a hug; sending 500 messages to congratulate someone might never feel as good being there to celebrate with them. But having a long distance best friend makes you appreciate things in your life. It makes you appreciate time spent with people, it makes you appreciate technology that allows you to still be so connected to someone you truly love, and most of all, it makes you appreciate them. Because you know even though they’re miles away, if something happened they’d be on the next available flight. Our relationship has opened my eyes to what a real friendship is, and really what I have to thank for that is distance.
