The Lonely Unaffiliated In A Greek Suite

Currently, I am living in an 8 person suite. Of these 8 people, 7 are affiliated in different Greek groups on campus. This means that I am the only one left out. Personally, I like to call myself "The Lonely Unaffiliated". My friends don't like this title, because they think it makes me sound sad and alone. I think they just don't understand because they aren't The Lonely Unaffiliated.

Now, you might say that I have other friends and not everyone is a part of Greek life so I'm not the only unaffiliated, so I can't really call myself The Lonely Unaffiliated. But here's the thing. I really don't. I mean, I do have more friends, but all of them are also affiliated. There's kind of a funny story behind that actually. My freshman year, all of the friends I was close with joined Greek life on campus. So I still hung out with them but went out to find new unaffiliated friends that I could spend my weekends with while they went to Greek parties and such. Now another year passes, and all of those new unaffiliated friends also joined Greek life. So after two years of every single one of my friends joining, I have resigned to the position of Lonely Unaffiliated who is just really [awkwardly] close to the Greek groups.

Don't get me wrong, I love my position. I have often debated joining a group. But in the end, I happy exactly where I am. And living with seven people involved in Greek life definitely has its pros and cons.

A pro, for example, is having my friends all very connected to the party scene on campus. Most of the parties are thrown by members of Greek groups or people very close with them, even if they are not Greek parties, and having all Greek suite-mates means that I hear about these parties very early. A con though, is that most weekends all of my suite-mates are gone at least one night.

However, I cannot personally consider this completely a con either. While I LOVE the people I live with, it is nice to have the place to myself sometimes. This also happens on Monday nights when everyone has their group meetings. I find it a great time to do homework in the suite, watch movies, catch up with far away friends over the phone, or even just decompress after a long week/weekend. Some weekends the two different groups I live with have parties on opposite days, so I am left with just some of my suite-mates and have a good time bonding with them. Plus, when we all finally are around at the same time, we make it great.

In addition, all my Greek friends have basically a million other friends because they know many of the other members of Greek life, so my circle is naturally supplemented just by being around them. I feel like every time I leave my suite I'm talking or interacting with new people because my suite-mates know them, and people are always coming over. I'm a little bit lazy, so making new friends like this without half the effort of finding people to be friends with is pretty convenient for me. I mean this doesn't really help when I'm bored alone on the weekends, but still. More friends are always okay. Having more people around sometimes makes up for the time alone in my mind.

However, this means a lot of drama too. Most of the time it's not big drama, but when you interact with so many people, the little things build up. Fairly often my suite-mates will be huddled in a room together ranting about some little thing or the other that some person did. 98% of the time the issue is over by the time the conversation is over. As someone on the edge, I often stay out of it, but I also really enjoy listening to other's drama because I myself am a dramatic little butterfly. When it comes to that 2% of the time when it's not just some little complaint, the air can be real tense for a few days.

In another, semi-related con, an issue that sometimes comes up when living with all Greek group members is the secrecy. Greek groups have their secrets and like to keep it that way. Learning all the secrets is part of the novelty of joining the group, but it can make for some awkward conversations when multiple groups are around (as is the case in my suite). When one group talks about something the others can't know about, I like to poke fun at them by pretending I have something secret with the other left out members, and we talk in vague sentences like "oh we can't forget that thing...that thing just we have to do". But sometimes, it's things that any affiliated person knows about, but unaffiliated people cannot. Those are the times it can hit a little hard.

An example of this actually occurred while I was writing this article. My roommate was showing everyone a conversation she was having with her sorority mom (or as some would say, her big). I went to look the phone screen to join in on the group conversation, but the screen was turned away and I was met with looks of sympathy. While I understand they have their secrets and that's just a part of life, it can sting to be the only one left out. But as hard as they try to hide everything, when you live with so many affiliated people, sometimes things slip. Even if it is nothing important and no one really cares, walking around knowing I know something I shouldn't is pretty cool.

There are also odd times when the groups hold events in our suite. Sometimes I am allowed to sit in, and sometimes I have to hide in my room or leave. Thankfully, my suite-mates are decent human beings, and everyone is always asked and a discussion is had with the whole suite before officially saying yes to any event. Then, like when they are gone at parties, it gives me time to bond with my other suite-mates or get homework done. I suppose you could call it a blessing in disguise.

So basically, living with a bunch of affiliated people is a little weird sometimes, and definitely has some effect on my life (I like to think a good one). I can't really compare living with affiliated people to living with unaffiliated people to confirm, because I have had the same roommate my whole time at school thus far, so my only experience with unaffiliated living conditions is before she pledged, and that hardly seems to count. Maybe all the suite-mates are actually making life harder than it needs to be for The Lonely Unaffiliated. Who can really say?

If nothing else, I will always be able to more than truthfully tell you that at the end of the day I know I'm coming home to a suite full of people who will support me no matter what, and I wouldn't have it any other way. For better or for worse, I love them all.