If there is one type of person I cannot stand, it’s the type who insists on being A Thing.

In other words, those thoroughly unremarkable individuals who are determined (tact be damned) to commercialize themselves, to turn their very name into a brand and ultimately an institution. They flood social media with links to blogs and websites of little substance in the hope that after a while their name will become synonymous with a certain attitude or lifestyle, much in the same way fans of the TV show "Friends" will often characterize each other by saying “Oh, you’re such a Monica!”

There’s a guy I know — let’s call him Matt — who’s well-meaning but utterly obsessed with himself. For example, his Facebook account consists largely of famous quotes attributed to himself, fake surveys about how awesome he is, and jokes where the punchline usually just a bad pun on his name. All of these sad items are accompanied by different Matt-themed hashtags and are usually "liked" by Matt himself.

Matt is an extreme example of a social virus that’s becoming more and more common. Yet what sets him apart from the other shameless self-promoters is that he rarely advertises something tangible like an upcoming event or a personal project. In fact, about the only thing he ever seems to promote is his name. What then, you may wonder, is the point?

The point is that Matt is very, very lonely.

Beneath that façade of nauseating arrogance lies a supreme insecurity, an all-consuming need to be liked and accepted. I suspect this is the case with most self-promoters, who want so badly to be acknowledged and praised that they spam us at every turn with heaps of unsolicited information: statuses, tweets, selfies, anything that will hasten our approval process and provide them with that holiest of grails: validation.

I know another guy — we’ll call him Dan — so determined to have his existence acknowledged that he once wrote an entire drinking game based on his personality and posted it on the wall of his dorm living room. Such a gesture transcends insecurity. The poor guy might as well have put up a flier advertising "LOST CONFIDENCE — $500 REWARD."

I want to help the Matts and Dans of the world. I want to sit them down and tell them that there is no shame in simply existing in the world as an ordinary person. And most of all, I want to remind Matt and Dan that regarding yourself as a celebrity when you’ve contributed nothing to society isn’t cool — it’s "Kardashianism."

We’re all susceptible to bouts of vanity. We’ve posted selfies to hear how good-looking we are or made statuses simply to showcase our wit. Narcissism is a wide spectrum and it’s near-impossible to exist in the 21st century without keeping some kind of virtual dumping ground for personal thoughts or creative endeavors. So long as they’re used pragmatically and not simply for shameless ego stroking, I will continue to support them. After all, social media is intended to connect you with the things you love, not make you a beloved thing.