In a place where trying new things is almost second to education, there's always been one topic throughout my college experience that has been taboo: loneliness. No matter who I am talking to or where I go, it seems like out of all the things I can be, the one thing i shouldn't be is lonely. Yet it has pervaded almost every day I spend in college. Even in Greek life, in clubs, in classes, at social gatherings, I still felt somehow apart from my peers and isolated. However, I did notice some things about this experience.
Being alone and being lonely are different things. I am an introverted only child, so I had my share of alone time while growing up. However, I never felt as lonely as I did my first two semesters of college. It was hard being around so many people, but not really knowing many of them. However, being alone can be a great way to grow and learn about yourself, and that can help make friends in the long run. After all, if you don't like your own company, it will be harder to make lasting friendships where you're comfortable with them too.
It gets better over time. As you spend more time in college, your feelings of loneliness will overall decrease. That's not to say that you'll just magically hit a point where you'll never be lonely again, but as you join clubs and study groups and societies in your major, hopefully you'll start making connections and have more people to talk to. A lot of older students told me to just ride through the first semester as best as I could.
Know when to seek help. As I said, lot of people said things would get better in the spring semester, and for the most part it's true. However, in addition to being lonely and homesick, I was also depressed, so things definitely did NOT get better in my freshman spring semester. School campuses have resources you can use to seek help, and they helped me continue getting help over the summer so I could better manage how I was feeling.
Talk about it. In addition to seeking help, try to be honest and tell people you hang out with. When you feel so lonely, it's so easy to get wrapped up in that feeling: that you're the only one who feels this way. One of the best experiences I had in combating loneliness and homesickness was opening up to a sorority sister and telling her how badly I felt. I thought the conversation would be pretty one sided, but she felt the same way. I was so surprised to find out that someone I thought had a ton of friends and was making her way just fine was stuck in the same hole I was.
I still struggle with both loneliness and homesickness, but I've tried to keep these things in perspective so I can stay on top of the problem. The hardest thing for me was communicating with people around me; it just seemed so easy to get lost in my feelings. Feeling lonely in college doesn't have to be a dark secret. Opening up about loneliness can be the pathway to overcoming it.
