In the latest round of Trump’s sexist comments which had been brushed off as “locker room talk," a number of professional athletes have responded by saying that talk in the locker room is never like that. Well yeah, it’s not like that in professional sports, and professional sports are a job - an overpaid job at that, but a job nevertheless. There’s a code of conduct to be followed, and to be fined when not followed. I recall a number of times when John Rocker was frequently in the news for his racist comments (interestingly, those who brought it to my attention switched their attitude when Ferguson happened), and a time when Kobe Bryant was on the news for cheating on his wife. How much hate has Johnny Football caught for partying? A lot. Being a person of high status in society, you have to really watch what you do and say and how what you say is being said; a sense of tact which Trump unapologetically lacks, and Eminem genuinely regrets having lacked in the past (but GLAAD doesn’t care that he does).
However, my experiences with sports have been different. Not so much in middle school or youth wrestling, but definitely in high school wrestling and college running, the locker room talk was something else. I have been handed porn. It has been suspected that I was gay because I felt discomfort about having to listen to how some guys talk about girls. I was bullied into entertaining those conversations about who is hot and why and how many thought that that was necessarily indicative of whether or not I liked a girl. Yet I was curious about the topic- having grown up never having heard about it in a religious household. In many ways, tagging along with the jocks ruined my rep in high school.
In undergrad, I was told that I was disrespectful to women and not genuine in my faith according to people that would, on a recovery day in track, brag to me about what they did to women while drunk. I’ve confronted them about this years later, and every time I do, they tell me I’m talking crazy and don’t have my facts straight. Apparently, I’m spreading rumors- when, if a rumor is true, is it really a rumor? How is it backstabbing if you’re a known dog and I’m talking about it online? I used to not like being approached about my anger problem- now, I don’t deny it, and life is much better, relatively speaking. Consequentially, they retaliate indirectly on Facebook by posting bumper stickers (often incorrectly called “memes”) promoting the morals of the religious right in order to protect their ego.
While this whole thing reveals asexual aspects of my sexuality (partially brought on by the fact that the few relationships I’ve had are as stormy as they are platonic), it needs to be said that women don’t deserve a leader that talks like male amateur athletes do; and the fact that there’s women out there that support Trump out of a strong and baseless hatred of Clinton (such as my cousins and former coworkers) leaves me absolutely dumbfounded. But, as I’ve learned in life, sometimes in a poignant fashion, good feminism entails letting women feel how they feel and making their own religious/ political/ employment/ dating decisions, even if I don’t agree with the moves they make.
