Anxiety is a silent killer. It takes over your entire being and makes you feel like you're losing yourself. There are times when it doesn't feel too bad like maybe its gone on vacation for a short period of time. Maybe it went away to Guatemala or California; decided that you deserved some time to yourself. But the vacation doesn't last long, and before you know it, it's back. Back and ready to come forward full force.

At times, it feels as if you're going insane. Like you aren't you anymore, and somehow if that were actually true, it'd be a blessing. You long for a moment without it, your search for a way to end its existence. You go to therapy, take medication, maybe even try to ignore it all together, but the denial is so bittersweet; you run yourself wild, trying to forget about something that is apart of you. Anxiety is there whether you want it to be or not. It's there while you're waiting in line for your groceries because there are people behind you, and in front of you, and even though you've done this a million times, going up to the counter is the scariest thing in the world.

It's there on your first date because what if you're not funny enough, or pretty enough, or... good enough. It's there when you're in the shower at the hotel on vacation because you don't know how the shower works, and what if you're too dumb to figure it out. It's there when you're talking to a stranger on the phone because you don't know them, and even though you'll never speak to them again, you don't want to deal with the awkwardness.

It's there when you can't fall asleep because there are too many thoughts running a marathon in your mind at 2:30 am. It's there when the clerk at the movies says "enjoy", and you say "you too", because you're an idiot, and you didn't actually listen to what they said to you. It's like a pest that has everlasting life, and yeah, these thoughts may be stupid and rapidly irrational, but they're there for every moment of your life, even for the moments that are the easiest. Anxiety worms it's way into your daily routine as if you've begun to do something different. Anxiety is in all of us, even the ones who don't quite know it yet.