I’m going to be 100% honest. Having anxiety sucks. There’s not really a way around it at all. It’s a constant struggle that I live with daily and so do many other people around the world. It’s hard to sugar coat it, because you really can’t.
Anxiety sucks because I am constantly worried about what other people think of me. I may say, “Oh, I don’t care what people think of me,” but I promise you that I do. It’s an unheard story. I constantly overanalyze everything. When people are laughing, I automatically think that they are thinking about me because that’s just how my brain processes it. It’s really scary when you think about it.
I’m also always worried that people don’t like me or that they are pretending to be my friend just to be nice to me (see, I overanalyze everything). I think one of the worst things is that every night in bed I always think about everything I did that day or even weeks or months before that. I always think about what I said or what I did in the situation because I always question it and myself. I question if I said the wrong thing or if what I did was wrong or stupid. This keeps me awake so much because of this because I am always worried that I did the wrong thing. I am a very tired person.
I always think that I’m not good enough even though I know that I am. It’s just something that my brain is telling me even though my heart is telling me something different. It’s a battle, but I will get through it. So many people struggle with anxiety and it’s not okay. It’s something that’s really hard to deal with and people need to be more understanding about it instead of pushing people away. It’s hard to always live with racing thoughts like that and I know many people feel that way too.
Living with anxiety is still a struggle that I face every day. It’s depressing too because I spend a lot of time in my room because I always feel like I’m bothering people. But like I talked about before, I’m working on it. I just want people that live with anxiety to know that it’s okay and that you aren’t the only one out there. Yeah, it is a real struggle and I don’t want to get out of bed half the time, but I’m progressing. You just have to take little baby steps at a time and try to get better. Hopefully in the future, more people will become more aware of anxiety and depression and will be understanding of it. Until then, I will keep trying to get better and better and live my life the best I can every single day, because every life is something worth living.
