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Health and Wellness

Living With An Angel And The Devil

Growing up is hard. It's even harder when you have to choose a side.

Mary Messina

Dec 05, 2016

La Salle University

Verge Campus

I've lived with an angel and the devil.

The angel who filled me with love.

The devil who filled me with hate.

The angel's strength inspired me.

The devil's weakness weakened me.

The angel did everything she could to surround me with rainbows and butterflies.

The devil did everything he could to surround me with rain and black clouds.

You see, I was born into this life of love and hate.

So confused about what was “normal” and what was fucked up.

Not really knowing the difference between the two.

Because, I was torn.

I didn't know who was going to win.

The angel...or the devil.

The angel spoke words of beauty in the world. She had a way of making me feel like everything was going to be okay. The devil spoke words of doubt and uncertainty. He had a way of making me feel like nothing was ever going to be okay.

After years and years of the back and forth, I struggled with my own demons inside of my head.

Choose a side, I'd tell myself. Do you want to love? Or do you want to hate?

The devil won many rounds. I was pulled into his black hole for a while. I was filled with doubt, fear and uncertainty of what love should feel like. I've learned the devils love comes with a cost.

If you do not suffer...

If you do not fall to him...

If you do not live the life he wishes upon you...

If you betray his orders...

He will not love you.

BUT.

The angel won the most round.

You see. The angel's love had no cost, it was unconditional. It made her happy to see me happy. She was always on the sidelines cheering me on. She was the sunshine on my darkest days.

So I made a choice.

I chose the angel.

And although the devil may still be there watching and waiting for a chance to break me down; there's too much love in my heart, placed there by my angel God had given me at birth.

The angel's love conquers all and allows me to live my life fearlessly. Because in the end, she's the one who will still be there loving me.

The devil will stay there with his hand out waiting to be given anything and everything.

The angel will be there with her hand out also, but only for me to hold and walk through this beautiful life with.

I think we all as human beings come by both the devil and angels at some point in our lives, even if it's just in our own heads.

But we have a choice.

We always have a choice.

Do we want to fall to the devil?

Or do we want to rise with the angel?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Living With An Angel And The Devil

Growing up is hard. It's even harder when you have to choose a side.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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