Do we keep secrets or do we share our pain? Should we share our problems?

I don’t pretend to have a solid answer.

Most people say to be open. Tell someone how you feel. Let them know what you are going through, because chances are, they are going through something just as hard, if not worse.

I went to an event at my college called Kingdom Experience. It is a place dedicated to give us a time and space to focus on God and take a break from our hectic schedules, if only for an hour. One of our fellow students, our student chaplain, spoke. She encouraged us to be vulnerable with one another. Ever since, I have been thinking about this concept. Why is vulnerability hard for so many people? Why is it so hard for me? Why is it so hard for you? Are you afraid of what people might think? I am. Are you afraid of what people are going to say about you when you aren’t there? Probably. Are you afraid people will think you are inadequate? Yes. The word vulnerability itself puts me on edge. Dictionary.com defines it as, "capableoforsusceptibletobeingwoundedorhurt,asbyaweapon." Think about that.

What would the world be like if we were open with each other? What would our communities be like if we discussed our problems and bonded over our insecurities? What would our lives be like if we didn’t have to constantly keep up appearances? What would it be like if everyone had someone, they could confide in, someone they could tell anything?

It would be a better place, I know that much.

Secrets can hurt. They can build up and rip a hole inside you. They can wound others around you and leave scars. Maybe you hold them in to protect others. Maybe you tell your secrets to so many people that they lose the mystery and become common knowledge. All I can say is that if it was not your secret to tell, or if it hurts someone else, you need to think about that choice, and think about it for a very long time. There is always Someone to talk to, Someone to tell if you can’t talk to another person. Believe me; I realize there are some things you just can’t tell anyone except God.

Find your person. Find your people. Chances are, there are more people out there than you think who are actually willing to listen to you without judging.

Having a person is something we all need. That person can help you by giving advice, by praying with you, or by listening and not responding at all. Sometimes the best way to help out a friend is to be present and to be quiet.

Share your problems with your person no matter how insignificant or massive they may seem.

Being vulnerable is scary. You are giving someone else the opportunity to hurt you, or to make fun of you. You are giving someone the opportunity to love you and be there for you. You are giving someone else the opportunity to break into your life.