15 Things to know about ENFP's.

15 Things to know about ENFP's.

The Best of Both Worlds

If you've taken the Myers-Briggs personality test, you're probably aware of the 16 major personality types. I'm one of the 7% who happens to fall in the ENFP category, otherwise known as extravert-intuitive-feeling-perceiving people!

We're a weird breed, us ENFPS. I am a rabid extrovert who also needs alone time almost as much an introvert. This is because I take much more time to process interactions, and I also have way more going internally than I let people know.

If you have no idea what it's like to be an ENFP, here's a couple of struggles we face (list inspired by Heidi at Thought Catalog).

1. Getting all your energy from social interaction but you hate superficiality.

You also want every single interaction to be deep and it's a struggle because of course not every interaction can be earth-shatteringly profound.

2. Always being aware of what the cool kids are doing but also wanting to be yourself.

So you end up doing your own thing, and that's actually the coolest of all in the end.

3. Needing time to process stuff but also wanting to do ALL THE STUFF ALL THE TIME EVERYWHERE!

It doesn't always work out.

4. Being an idea generator and then never following through on the actual ideas.

I have a notebook lying around somewhere that probably has the cure for cancer in it.

5. Regularly forgetting that your physical needs exist.

What's a bathroom? Oh shoot, I haven't been since this morning. Should probably go do that. Did I eat lunch? Should probably do that too.

6. Seeing every side to a situation. And I mean, every side.

This is why Politics are so hard for me, but it's also an advantage because it gives me a boatload of empathy.

7. People think you're a huge flirt when you're actually not.

You have had multiple boys (or girls) tell you to stop flirting and that they weren't interested, but you weren't actually flirting. You were literally just making conversation.

8. You are a Force Of Nature regarding creativity and discipline, but only an hour before a deadline.

Inexplicably, Your best work happens during time crunches.

9. You take on way more than you know you're able to do, and then you do everything anyway because you want to prove yourself to everyone.

This one is sort of a self-drag, but I continue to do it anyway. Us ENFPs never learn, do we?

10. People underestimate your intelligence because you tend to reveal the fun and bubbly parts of yourself first.

Which can lead to minds being blown once they get to know the real you.

11. You love everyone so much but you love certain people THE MOSTEST and they just don't get that.

Everyone is your friend, but then you have your close friends and your closest friends, and then your family. It's not that hard, seriously.

12. You look up EVERYTHING because you're curious.

Sometimes you regret your curiosity.

13. You process verbally and people often reply, thinking you're asking for help, when you're actually just thinking out loud.

Sometimes a stream of consciousness is just me getting my thoughts straight.

14. People don't realize their interactions with you barely scratch the surface.

You have a boiling cauldron of thoughts, emotions, and wild daydreams that are masked by a placid countenance.

15. You're a walking contradiction but you wouldn't change your personality type for anything in the world, because you're amazing the way you are.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.

Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black-and-white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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In Real Life, 'Plus Size' Means A Size 16 And Up, Not Just Women Who Are Size 8's With Big Breasts

The media needs to understand this, and give recognition to actual plus-size women.


Recently, a British reality dating TV show called "Love Island" introduced that a plus-sized model would be in the season five lineup of contestants. This decision was made after the show was called out for not having enough diversity in its contestants. However, the internet was quick to point out that this "plus-size model" is not an accurate representation of the plus-size community.

@abidickson01 on twitter.com

Anna Vakili, plus-size model and "Love Island "Season 5 Contestant Yahoo UK News

It is so frustrating that the media picks and chooses women that are the "ideal" version of plus sized. In the fashion world, plus-size starts at size 8. EIGHT. In real life, plus-size women are women who are size 16 and up. Plunkett Research, a marketing research company, estimated in 2018 that 68% of women in America wear a size 16 to 18. This is a vast difference to what we are being told by the media. Just because a woman is curvy and has big breasts, does NOT mean that they are plus size. Marketing teams for television shows, magazines, and other forms of media need to realize that the industry's idea of plus size is not proportionate to reality.

I am all for inclusion, but I also recognize that in order for inclusion to actually happen, it needs to be accurate.

"Love Island" is not the only culprit of being unrealistic in woman's sizes, and I don't fully blame them for this choice. I think this is a perfect example of the unrealistic expectations that our society puts on women. When the media tells the world that expectations are vastly different from reality, it causes women to internalize that message and compare themselves to these unrealistic standards.

By bringing the truth to the public, it allows women to know that they should not compare themselves and feel bad about themselves. Everyone is beautiful. Picking and choosing the "ideal" woman or the "ideal" plus-size woman is completely deceitful. We as a society need to do better.

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