Going to college out of state causes a weird feeling once returning home. It is hard to remind myself that this is home, and that my college dorm is just a home away from home.

When I visit my house out of state now, it just does not feel the same. I sleep in the room that I grew up in, feeling like I am laying in a stranger's bed. I tend to forget staying up all of those nights in that bed crying, or smiling to my heart's content. I forget every song that was played and sung in that room. I do not think about a lot of the memories I made with everyone who stepped foot into my life, and stayed the night with me. I don't think about the endless hours of playing Barbies or dress up with my best friends. All I can think about most of the time, is that I will be back in my dorm soon.

This is not because I hate my house, and would rather be at college. Not at all. Honestly, I love both of my rooms, and they both feel like home. I simply just cannot feel the way that I used to when being in those four purple walls in my hometown. College has made me grow so much, so sometimes going home reminds me of who I once was. I am just not high school me anymore. I have gained a deep knowledge on the world, and myself. So sometimes going back home makes me feel like everything I have already experienced in college was not real.

I come home to my best friends from childhood, my family, and my amazing boyfriend. The memories that my hometown has left with me have been absolutely unforgettable. I just love being home. I am able to be there to visit whoever wants to make plans with me, and hug my parents every night before I sleep. My hometown is full of infinite smiles from some wonderful people. The only problem is, it is a lot more difficult for me to grow there. I have lived there my whole life, so change is important. When I am home, I cannot roll out of bed to greet my roommate, and I do not have friends living down the hall from me.

And then I go back to my college a few hours away. I am greeted by some of the best friends I have ever met in my entire life, and I get to live out and study my passions. i have the opportunity to make a whole lot of new friends and memories each and every day, and there is always something to learn. However, I do not have my parents when I'm sick, and I am unable to drive to my boyfriend's house when I miss him. I cannot simply invite my lifelong friends over for a sleepover.

The point is, there are positives and negatives about being in both of the worlds that I live in. As much as I sometimes wish they were built into the same world, I am reminded of God's love in both places. He blesses me every single day whether I am there or here, and he reminds me that I am doing what I have always dreamed of, and living for His plan for me.

I will always have my hometown to drive back to. I will always have that room that watched me grow up and become who I am today. I have so many people back home waiting for me to come home next, and for that I am grateful. I also have this dorm. This room sees me learn more and more everyday about what adult life is really like. It has already seen some of the best times of my life, and the worst homesickness that was never expected.

I have two worlds. And as hard as it is sometimes, I am glad. I have so many memories from each of my homes, and there is only more to make.

I might live in two completely different places, and sometimes feel like two different people, but I am still me. I am the person who is trying to figure out what living in two places is like, and how to please people from both of them, at the same time sometimes. My life would not feel complete if I only had one of the worlds, so I am so thankful for them both.

Whether I'm in my home state or in my dorm, I am content.