I was supposed to go to college. I was supposed to graduate with a degree in communications. I was supposed to get a job doing what I love. I was supposed to work my way up and eventually have the financial stability to take care of my mom later in life. I was supposed to be a role model for my little brother. I was supposed to do everything according to my mothers plan for me.
But that's now how I wanted my future to be. That's not the vision I had for myself.
I don't think there is a "right" way to live. There is no "right" way to get to where you want to go and there is no "right" way to do what you want. There is only your path. There is only what you're willing to do. There is only what you push yourself towards and flee from.
My life was given to me. I was blessed to live in a great home. I never worried about food, water, shelter. I never worried about having clothes for school, the books I needed/wanted. I never questioned whether my family was okay--as a matter of fact I wasn't even fully aware of the various other ways people lived.
I, naively, assumed everyone was the same as me.
Now, now I know.
Our lives aren't meant to be this spectacle for others entertainment--yes sometimes shit happens and we end up being the talk of the neighborhood, our friend group, the school, or whatever it may be. But our lives are for us to live.
Each of us--individually.
It's not for our parents to decide for us.
It's for us to decide what way we take down our path. If we want to go under the questionable bridge where a troll possibly lives--well that's up to us. If we want to go the path that everyone else has taken, then so be it. Regardless, it's up to our individual selves to choose.
We are our own sun.
Our parents gave us life and we thank them for that, but they do not know what we are destined for--we barely know what we're destined for.
Therefore, experience life. Don't live the way someone is telling you. Don't succumb to the norm. Be true to yourself but have experiences.
* Go out at 4 am with your friends and do something simple or crazy.
* Be crazy
* Make spontaneous decisions
* Be weird
Just be yourself. Our lives--they're complicated and most of the time a little unpleasant. So give yourself some excitement. Give yourself something to remember--something to smile about when the skies in your world turn black. Let those memories guide the light back to you. Let the spontaneity, the crazy, the weird, be your guide.
Your guide that leads you a little further down your path of destiny.
I've been without a home for 5 months. I've lived out of my car, I've showered at the Y, I've brushed my teeth while driving to work, I've slept in parking lots, I've met random people at 3 am, and every day I've learned something new about myself. Every day I've learned that life is gonna suck sometimes. It's gonna kick your ass. Life has tried kicking my ass for 5 months now, but for the last 5 months, I've persevered; I'm stronger, smarter, and I recognize the potential that every person has within them.
Make your own path, forget what the people have told you.
Go.
