Ah yes, Mother Nature’s monthly gift, the Shark Week to end all Shark Weeks, the parting of the Red Sea, Arts and Crafts week at Panty Camp. Whatever you may call it, getting your period can be an emotional rollercoaster. So here’s a list of thoughts that run through our heads during that time of the month that literally every single girl ever can relate to.
1. Why are pads and tampons so expensive? I’m already broke and sad so let’s just put a price tag on it.
2. Wait..should I get heavy flow or normal flow? Wings or no wings? Always or Stayfree? Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
3. Ha. Ha. Ha. There’s only one cashier and he’s cute. And judging me. Why me, God??
4. *laughs* SO. MANY. EMOTIONS. *cries*
5. I’m having so many mood swings, I could literally build a playground out of my feelings.
6. I want chocolate and ranch dressing so ranch on chocolate is a thing now DON’T QUESTION THE CRAVINGS.
7. *binge watches HIMYM and Friends*
8. It’s fine, I’ll just look like a sad homeless person for a week to match what I feel on the inside.
9. These cramps feel like my innards are having a fistfight
10. *tries to stand up* Nope, nope, nooooppeee.
11. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my bed for a week
12. I need to change my tampon and literally I don’t have any extra or 50 cents to buy one.
13. “Does anyone have a pad or tampon? No? Okay, I’ll just free bleed it’s fine.”
14. Oh look, I’m bloating. I can finally go be free with the other whales.
15. I’m sore in places that I didn’t think it was possible to be sore
16. *reads article about how exercises while on your period is good for the cramps* LOL SURE
17. Heating pad, midol, chocolate, Titanic. In that order.
18. *syncs up with friend group* At least we can be miserable and bitchy together.
19. I mean at least I’m not preggers...although nine months without bleeding down south would be nice. *cries*
20. All boys are the enemy. They should be punched where it hurts to match our pain.
21. How come I don’t know if I need to go number one or number two?? I hate my liifffeee
22. “AND I KNOOOWWW THAT MY HEART WILL GO OOOOOONNNNN”
23. *asks male professor to go use the bathroom* *gets up and brings backpack* Professor: “Why you bringing your bag?” Me:
24. *gets text message from boy* *cries*
25. *sees a puppy* *cries*
26. RIP to all my cute panties that were lost to the crimson wave. You will be greatly missed *cries again*
