Without trying to, people have said some pretty offensive things to me. I maintain composure when these things are said, but reflecting on it now, I feel like people should know that these things are offensive. Here's how I should have responded.
1. “You can tell you’ve gained a little bit of weight.”
I remember coming home for winter break and I heard this more times than I would have liked (which is none). This isn’t just a girl thing and I understand you’re not trying to be rude, but don’t comment on someone’s weight. It’s always offensive.
2. “You’re just too intimidating to some guys.”
What does that even mean? How? What am I doing that is intimidating? There are plenty of actual reasons that a guy won’t like me, but I don’t believe this is one of them.
3. “You’ll meet someone someday.”
I don’t have to. You don’t have to act like being single is a death sentence. I’m independent and if I wanted to be in a relationship, I could be.
4. “You’d be pretty if--”
That single flaw that I have does not mean that I am not pretty. Your ideas of beauty are not the same as mine and putting me down benefits no one.
5. “You’re better than that.”
You don’t set my standards. You don’t get to tell me what I should do or shouldn’t do. I am an adult and I’m more than capable of making my own decisions.
6. “You’re just like your--”
Comparing me to someone else when you’re mad is dumb. I probably find that person to be someone that’s pretty great. Everyone has flaws and if my flaws reflect someone I care about then I don’t take that as an insult.
7. “You’re a better person for going through what you did.”
A better person? Everyone goes through different things. I know that I’ve dealt with some things that were pretty crummy, but I simply adapted and learned from the experience in the same way everyone else does. I’m not “better” for going through something, I’m just human.
8. “You’re too smart for your own good.”
Although most people don’t find this to be rude, it is. I’m intelligent because I work hard and take pride in my education. I use my intelligence, but I don’t appreciate it being used against me.
9. “Worry doesn’t look good on you.”
I’m sorry. I’ll stop stressing out so I look better. Life is an uphill battle and sometimes people overreact to certain situations. As someone with anxiety, I don’t appreciate you telling me to stop worrying.
10. “Are you sure you can do that?”
If I didn’t think I was capable of completing this task, then I wouldn’t attempt it. I know myself and my abilities.
11. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
You don’t know how any situation is ever going to work out. I’ll decide if I’ll be okay.
Don't think you're a bad person if you've ever said anything like this, just know that you could (accidentally) be offending someone. Think about what you say and remember to always be empathetic.
