1. You know you have a terrible immune system, so consider taking better care of it.

2. Check the Yelp reviews before you go, unless it’s that Chinese restaurant that’s open till 4 AM every night (shout out) – you don’t need to know what people say.

3. Take advantage of your student discounts: be openly annoying about it because you are openly really, really broke.

4. Syllabus week is a blessing- utilize it.

5. Finish that list of places you wanted to visit first semester! Finally!

6. Stop taking Instagram pictures of yourself in front of a cool mural – it’s a lot

7. Do not leave your student I.D on your lunch tray because you will lose it and you will be sad (and have to pay a sizable amount for a new one). Also, lunch tray? Is this Camp Rock?

8. If a ~new friend~ supports Trump— cancel the subscription

9. Understand your roommate may not want to hear you “aggressively watching Vines” when she’s trying to sleep

10. Go to the gym. It’s five feet away.

11. In the least passive aggressive way possible, stop wearing your goddamn college gear to class.

12. Drink water! Exercise! Do face masks! College is dirty, and your skin knows that

13. If you follow someone from school on Instagram, the least you could do is smile when you pass them.

14. Dollar pizza is important and necessary- or maybe just important

15. VENMO! Download it, now.

16. Finals will slowly but surely, remind you that you are kind of the worst. Study.

17. On a similar note, do any and all extra credit.

18. Make sure you are taking the right subway before you swipe your MetroCard. Your finances don’t have time for these mistakes.

19. If you go to a party in Hoboken, did you really expect more?

19. Take a nap between each class, and drink an absurd amount of coffee (or get a reasonable amount of sleep), either works

20. Make a super cool skateboard path by picking up the furniture and rugs in your dorm

21. Do not skateboard in your dorm.

21. (cont.) If you fall off said skateboard that you should not have been on indoors, all the while telling everyone you are “Tony Hawk," let the doctors assume you were doing a kick flip, it will work out better for you. (Sorry, oddly specific.)

22. Clubs are sweaty and loud and you don’t need to go to them but you should probably once or twice to say that you have, and get that out of the way

23. Avoid putting food in the communal fridge. My friends and I will probably take it

24. Take advantage of all concerts under twenty-dollars and all free museums

25. Listen to a lot of Green Day and blast Jesus of Suburbia when you are trying to study (I actually didn’t learn this first semester).