1. "How do you get it to look like that?"
Ya see, we have this thing call the three P's: prayer, product, and plopping. My roommates have seen me doing the last one, and they still like me, so you'll be fine (thx fam!!!)
2. "Do you ever straighten it? If so, how long does it take you?"
STOP THAT NONSENSE RIGHT NOW, PLS. OF COURSE I DO.
(It takes me an hour and a half to straighten it, but sometimes I need breaks because straightening hair is hard, man.)
3. "I wish I had your hair."
No, ya don't. Do you want to wake up with a bird's nest on the top of your head? No? That's what I thought.
4. "Do you ever brush it?"
I like myself too much to look like a lion for the day.
5. "Your hair is literally everywhere" - the roomies/everyone at all times
Y'all knew what you signed up for in my friendship; it includes balls of hair being left everywhere I go, which are reminders of my presence in your life. Think of them as a gift from me to you.
6. "It's just a little rain, you will be fine."
Monica gets it.
7. "How much hair product do you need?" (when people see your corner designated to your hair products)
Okay, but do you SEE my hair? It takes a lot to make it look this good.
8. "Why do you take so long to get ready? Seriously!"
Would you rather I look like a mess, or a hot mess? (I'd like to think the second one).
9. "Your hair is so big, I love it!!"
You don't even know. Please take it, take it all.
10. "Is that seriously natural?
Seriously....? No, I get up and curl it every morning; yes, it's natural!!
11. "Why don't you just straighten it permanently if it's that bad?"
Because sometimes we have good days, and on those good days, our hair looks absolutely F-L-A-W-L-E-S-S.
Lion's mane gang, werk it!