Trust is a foundation of all relationships, from the person you choose to lie next to at night to the people you surround yourself with on a daily basis. Trusting others and trusting each other is a necessity to our development as individuals, even trusting our surroundings is a practice we must perform. Trust is a confusing thing, a thing of many definitions, yet seems so simple when we think of the meaning, the wholesome idea of what trust is. The raw, simple meaning of trust seeming so clear, yet when we try to explain it no words seem to fit.
In terms of a metaphorical phrase, picture trust as the invisible roots outstretching from your body, your mind. From the moment we meet unknown, we want to connect and outstretch our roots to ground. Yet, we are tentative when we are in new places with new people, somewhere where we have no comfort, and no level of establishment. We are wary of new surroundings, objects, and people, and we reach a level of contentment when we feel at place and comfortable. This is why our homes, our schools, close family and friends are so at ease; we trust the roots we have reached out, and we trust the strength that is in that bond. Why we need trust though, why we need to trust, is the water we need to grow our roots, to outstretch our limbs and ground ourselves by the sheer feeling of being able to have certainty-to have reliance.
The way we act around new people, anticipating their thoughts, feelings, and emotions towards us has us constantly aware of them and their intentions. Constantly on edge, tentative of the foreign soil we are tempting to envelop, to break into. We are constantly aware of them, consistently gauging the new terrain, tense over if we can tumble our trust into their arms, tense if they deserve that. Yet over time we relax, riding the uncertainties we were filled with, scared of. The tension that exists beforehand is a first encounter to the unknown, the outstretched need we have to make sense of new people.
Trying to predict people and their actions is a tension we put on these roots, the pressure of trying to foresee the uncertainty, preparing to be disappointed. It’s like trying to predict the outside factors of your roots; will it rain enough for you? Will you prosper and grow? Is the risk of outreaching worth it? Trust is a fragile thing, and that's why it’s such a calamity when it is broken.
Broken trust is the snapping of your branches, the bite that forces you to reside away from what you’ve become comfortable with, stable with. Trust that has been broken sends the dominoes crashing down, beginning the floodwaters of overthinking and retreating back. You start thinking you are fine alone, okay in your small pot and that your roots are fine; you don’t need to ground yourself anymore than you already have. You feel your roots coiling back towards you, you feel yourself tightening back and retreating, which may result in you trusting no one. However, this does not work.
Trusting is to give power to the uncontrollable. To the trust you have in closing your eyes and allowing yourself to fall. To cross your arms and to not take a step back as you dip backwards, and you maneuver your body to relax and plunge back into that trust fall; to that person. You can’t control everything, and one needs to learn this. You need to learn that the world and all it’s people are just as lost as you- are just as timid to growing as you.
Letting go of all these insecurities, all these doubts, doesn’t take away the caution you have towards others. It takes away the shyness you feel to the new, to the unknown. Our whole future is up in the air, our growth stretching further and further into uncertainty. Don’t be scared of this new ground; let go, stop worrying, and let yourself tumble into the trust you have in yourself. Stop scanning for inconsistency and focus on growing, building yourself up with the aid of those around you. You aren’t one singular being forced to face this whole world. You’re part of a forest and an entanglement of roots- physically, emotionally, and mentally.
So, who do you trust, and how do you grow it?
