Having sex is intimate. You're past the line of up close and personal. It's body on body. And your partner, fuck buddy, one-night stand, etc. is attracted to YOU. Your body, personality, spirit, aura, YOU.
It's time to be attracted to yourself, too.
Keeping the lights off can be comforting. No doubt it's exciting, and yeah, with one sense disabled, others are heightened. But! Visually seeing your partner in the naughty act is just as stimulating as feeling every touch. You can watch them savor you and you can smirk at their expression when you do the same.
You will feel closer than ever. It's intimacy on the next level.
Although having the lights off may help you get out of your mind (trust me, I know how hard that can be), swallowing some confidence while you roll in the sheets can really boost your sexual experience.
Don't forget that doing it in the dark comes with a lot of oopsies. You aim to kiss them on their lips, but you hit their nose. You accidentally scratch them while trailing down under. You knee them in a no-no spot. You fall off the bed during transitions. Sometimes, it's just a hassle and filled with apologies.
You're missing out because once you stop hiding, the heat in the air will fire up your confidence.
Forget what your tummy looks like when you're on top, what your double chin is doing when they're on top, whatever the heck your arms and hips are doing.
Just enjoy and don't forget that you are drop dead gorgeous.
Trust me, your significant other is drooling because they are the lucky one who gets to adore you.
I'm never going to say it's easy. There are more times than I can count on my fingers and toes that I've found myself overthinking what I look like and what my partner thinks of me. I'm still learning how to put my distorted thoughts and nerves to the side, but slowly we can and deserve to feel good. Sex is a gagillion times better and more satisfying when you love yourself. Plus, it'll help you reach that big O.
When you start panicking because they are touching portions of your body that bring about anxiety, remind yourself that this is all in your head. You may not be ready to get rid of those thoughts entirely, but allow yourself to come back to them later on. Turn your focus off what you look like and center your attention to your partner.
You have made someone else horny, it's time to emphasize that and believe in yourself.
Even if you're having a bad day, you've got it all, baby!
Don't overwhelm yourself, slowly welcome light into the bedroom. From morning sex to lunch break quickies to glowing candles, find the sexiest ambiance for you and your confidence, but don't knock it 'til you try it.