Being bullied is a hell of a thing. First off there is the actual act of being bullied, which has two forms; physical or emotional, then theres the repercussions of it. Which honestly might be worse. I was a victim of bullying, and this is my story.

When I was in sixth grade I had gained a little weight, and all of a sudden people assumed I was pregnant. Sixth grade people, that’s like twelve years old. I had no friends because of this, but I sure did have a lot of people talking to me, or rather at me. Every day on the playground the girls would come up to me and ask me when my baby shower was, or who the dad was, to which I responded with the usual “please stop” or “what are you talking about” nothing I said could get these girls to leave me alone. Nothing you or anyone can ever say will convince me that any age group is worse than teen girls, they're like little demons sent from hell to point out what you're most insecure about.

Seventh grade came around and I would stay inside the library everyday for recess or go to the nurses office, because she was the only authority who actually cared enough to let me stay there and be safe. But she couldn't always let me stay there so some days I had to take a deep breath and go outside hoping for the best. I remember going out one day and seeing these two girls, who tormented me every day, coming toward me and all I could think was please God let it be quick and don’t let them hit me. They came screaming in my face to the point that a friend stepped in and told them to stop, only to be slapped by the girl in return.

The next school year, might actually have been the worst of my middle school life but not the worst of the bullying. In eighth grade I had few friends. It was a group of like five guys who were also friends with the two girls who hated me, but beggars can’t be choosers. The one girl accused me of stealing her iPod and got the schools officer involved, claiming that I was the last person to have it and so logically I must have it. The officer was convinced I had it and told me that if I turned it in no further action would be taken, so much for innocent until proven guilty. A few days later the girl who owned the iPod had it returned by her best friends mother, because it was her bestie who stole it.

My freshman year of high school was the end point though, half way through my freshman year I got pulled out of school. The avalanche started with my “best friend” yelling at me in the cafeteria saying I was spreading rumors about her. It only got worse when she came into the locker room one day, friend to record the incident in tow, and started screaming only to punch me when I asked what was wrong. Within minutes it was posted on Facebook. What happened next was like a scene out of a movie, I got dressed and went to the office to call my mom and by the time I got to the hall a group of girls were watching the video talking about it as I passed. The school did nothing, so my mother helped me press charges on the two girls. This only made the one girl angrier, she tried shoving me down stairs a few times would call and text me harassing me constantly. When we finally went to mediation, for the girl who recorded the fight, it was resolved. The girls father came up to us after the meeting and asked us if the school had contacted us in regards to the other girls threat and both my mother and I were baffled as to what he was talking about. He then went on to explain that the girl who was my previous best friend who had already punched and humiliated me, had said to her softball team and friends “the school gave me a bat now imagine what I can do to her.” My mother decided then that the school was doing nothing so it was best I got removed before more harm could be done.

All of the fear and the lack of friends was nothing compared to the lingering damage it had left. It's scary now to try to make friends, always wondering if they're actually you're friend or if they have some ulterior motive, always scared they're going to hurt you. When I walk into a room of laughing people I don’t think they're happy, I automatically think they're laughing at me. If someone doesn't text me back right away I assume they're mad at me and never want to see me again, but the worst is that if I go to hang out with friends and nobody talks to me I assume that they don’t want me there and I feel compelled to leave so I'm not being a bother to them. Being bullied can and does cause ptsd, which I know first hand is not to be belittled. In crowded rooms I always wind up looking for a threat or a way out. It leads to the victim always being in fear. For someone who’s been bullied there is no happy ending. So please I encourage you all to think before you speak because bullying leads to way to many deaths and psychological damage. If you see someone being bullied speak up don’t let the bystander effect take over. DO SOMETHING.The world is cruel enough please don’t add to it.