To the Person Whose Life Isn't Big Enough

To the Person Whose Life Isn't Big Enough

Because who says what "enough" is, anyway?

I see you. Yes, I realize you are there.

You can feel overlooked. Invisible. Like you have so little to offer.

You see, in order to be seen, we feel like we have to be: be somebody bigger, better, more successful.

(In order to just land a job you love, it seems like you have to be the next Steve Jobs.) The pressure is incredible, incredibly crippling.

It can cripple the healthy way you view yourself.

It makes you think who you are is not enough because you -- just being you -- don't have the titles, salary, house, boat, spouse and picket fence.

It can cripple the healthy way you view your work.

Whatever you do is automatically "not good enough" because your ideas aren't spawning the next Apple or Google, your mundane desk work isn't meriting you an interview on "The Today Show," and your weekend plans aren't with anybody close to celebs.

It can cripple the healthy way you view your life.

Whatever talents you do have, whatever job you actually possess, whatever people you regularly communicate with -- it all becomes just not enough.

You're not enough. You don't do enough (or do it correctly enough). Your life is not big enough.

I've felt the deep emptiness making you feel hollow. I've felt the unfillable-ness; whatever could be "good" or "enough" seems to slip through your hollow existence.

I've seen how answers people give of why your life is enough, you are enough, you do enough don't completely satisfy.

I've seen the frustration and confusion that paints your reality in hopelessness.

But I've had enough, enough of not being enough, not doing enough, not having enough.

I've seen it's my choice.

I can keep letting the incredible, incredibly painful pressure compress my soul, confuse my desires, blur my vision, and tie up my steps. I can focus on how I'm not good enough and this life just isn't big enough.

But one choice comes at the cost of another, and when I'm holding onto how it's not enough, I can't hold onto anything else that maybe (maybe) could help it be enough.

Because who defines what "enough" is in the first place? What actually is big enough for me to be happy and not feel such pressure to do, be, live, accomplish?

Am I going to let somebody else decide what is enough for my life? Somebody who I can't even point to? Somebodies who are providing me with these ideas I'm construing into a life I should (actually) be living?


(Oh, I've had enough). Because maybe I simply need to let go and decide what is enough for me.

It's enough to realize it's never enough.

Even if I was the CEO of a successful startup who's living the high life in Silicon Valley, I know it still wouldn't ever be enough for me. Because someone else is the CEO of a bigger corporation. Someone else created an innovation even more innovative than mine.

It's enough to be enough.

It's enough to realize that I might hold my flaws always in front of me, but I can be enough for someone else; I can be enough hope for someone through our conversations. I can be enough encouragement for someone through our sharing ideas. I can be enough support for someone through just being a friend.

It's enough to choose happiness enough.

It's enough for me to realize that someone will always have more, be more, do more. I can always live hollow, perpetually enough-less. Or I can choose to be thankful and look at my life with a new perspective, choosing to see what I have, what I am, what life I'm living as "enough" (even while I try to keep pressing forward). I can choose to be happy and decide to celebrate each day, each small accomplishment, each enough.

Because I've had enough of living my life like it's never enough. Because the problem actually isn't my life. It's how I view my life and what I choose to do from there.

"Never enough-ers," let me tell you from the other side: it can be enough.

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Why Self-Care Has Made Me A Happier Person

I decided to focus on myself, and it’s been great.

At the beginning of last semester, I was a wreck. I took up too many things, was overly stressed and I felt like I had no free time for my friends or myself. Towards the end of the semester, I was even worse. Finals stacked their weight on my shoulders, and I felt like I was trapped in a constant loop of work and nothing else.

At the beginning of 2018, I reached my breaking point. I felt like nothing was going right for me, and I could no longer handle the stress. I mentally could no longer keep going. I would shut myself off from my friends and the people that cared about me, deleting all my social media apps and never replying to people.

I had a huge breakdown, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

During that mental break, I realized that doing all the things that I was doing was not worth the mental strain.

After what happened, I decided to begin to put myself first. All last semester, and the beginning of this semester, I focused on other people’s needs and happiness, and never my own. I was hiding behind the lie that if I made other people happy, maybe I would be happy too.

I decided to focus on myself, and it’s been great. I dropped half of the things that were on my plate, and I finally feel like I can breathe again. I finally feel that I have time for myself, time to sit down and read or write if I really wanted to.

I know it may sound like a small thing, but I’m making sure I take a shower and wash my face everyday, a step that I never had time for last semester.

I’ve been pushing myself to go to the gym more and more frequently, in order to feel physically and mentally better.

I have begun to spend more time on my dancing, something that has been a part of my life since I can remember, and one of my few passions. It truly makes me happy, and I’m glad I can put more time towards it.

My experience with mental health has never been a great one. I have always felt like I needed to put others over myself. I am glad to say now that I can finally focus on myself, and become a happier person because of it.

If you’re struggling with things like stress, I suggest that you take a step back from your busy life and take a look at the person in the mirror. That person’s mental health is not worth sacrificing for some club or some frat or sorority. You deserve to be happy. Please take time to rest, and relax. It’ll be worth it in the long run.

Cover Image Credit: Columbia Business Times

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9 Self-Care Tips For College Students

Put Yourself First!

As college students, we struggle with finding time for school, work, activities, and ourselves. We become too busy that we forget about ourselves in the process. Therefore self-care should be important to college students, we need to put our needs first. I personally struggle with self-care. I put always school first, even if that means staying up late or making up for work a group member couldn’t complete. But I have learned that self-care is important and that a time throughout the day should be scheduled to care for yourself. Here are some self-care tips:

1. Catch some Z’s

Sleep should be very important to college students. Sleeping allows our bodies to fully recharge and get ready for another day. So try your best to get at least 7 hours a day of sleep, you’ll wake up feeling better. Don’t forget to take naps, whenever they are needed.

2. Work Out

Working out makes our bodies feel better, more energized, and it reduces stress. It clears your mind and keeps you on your feet so you can think better throughout the day. I struggle to keep up with this self-care tip. But when I do get the chance, running helps me ease my mind and it motivates me to take care of myself more. I suggest you give it a try.

3. Get Lost in A Book

Personally, when I practice self-care I tend to reach out for a book. Reading a book that is not related to any school assignments, helps clear my mind and escape reality for a while. You can try reading before going to be, but if you are like me that gets carried away. Then I suggest reading on the way home or when you have a small break.

4. Laugh

For us to me emotionally well, we must have a good sense of humor. Laughter strengthens your immune system, increases energy, diminishes pain, and protects you from stressing. Shout out to my friends for making me laugh daily even in the most embarrassing situations.

5. Go for A Walk

Whenever you feel overwhelmed with school work, I suggest to get up and go get some fresh air. It will help sort out your thoughts and make you feel less stress. Enjoy the scenery while you’re at it!

6. Drink More Water

Water improves your skin, keeps you energized, and makes you more alert. Plus who doesn’t want to have clear and glowing skin? Remember our bodies need at least 8 cups of water per day.

7. Do Something Creative

Start journaling, get a coloring book, or paint a picture. Doing something creative releases stress, makes you feel less anxious, and happier. I knew I need to do something more creative to help me release stress, so I decided to take a photography class with my best friend and so far, it’s going great. So, give it a try!

8. Clean Your Room

You’re probably thinking, how is cleaning my room going to help my self-care? Personally, if my room is a mess then I am a mess too. I don’t feel energized or relaxed to do anything upon seeing my room a mess. I already know that if I don’t clean up, then I won’t have a productive day. Trust me there have been many of those. So, take some time to tidy your room and admire your clean space.

9. Keep Positive People in Your Life

Friends are the most important people in your life. If a friend brings positivity to your life, then that friendship is a solid bond. You should keep these people in your life, someone who will bring you up and no pull you down.

Many students based their daily routine around their academic schedule and workload. If you want to change that, make a list of all the things you do and enjoy that aren’t related to school. School is important, but others things in your life are important too. Remember you are a valuable person!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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