I will be the first to admit that I know I'm not easy to love. I've dealt with situations in my past that have made me a bit guarded today. Dealing with feelings isn't always a simple task, and for a while, I enjoyed living life on my own terms. For the few years that I was out of a relationship I dedicated it to finding myself and getting my sh*t (somewhat) together. After all, they do say to "love yourself first," right?

I chose to be single for awhile, with the occasional date here and there, I never found anyone that I was willing to fully commit myself too. There isn’t, by any means, anything wrong with being committed to someone or intrigued by the idea of romance, intimacy and sharing a future with another person. I mean, let's face it, we are, after all, human, and it’s okay to long for those things. But be warned, dating a woman who has a strong personality and knows what she likes and dislikes, is an experience with lessons to be learned. If you are going to love someone like this, there are some important things you should know.

We’re not afraid to be alone.
News flash: We chose to be in a relationship because we like you, not because we need you. I learned how to be happy on my own, however, you make my life a bit better. A lot of men get frightened by the fact that we don't rely on them for survival. You want to hang out with your friends? Perfect, so do we. Being attached at the hip with the one you’re with just isn’t healthy. We enjoy our space, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot, don’t take it to heart.

Prepare to be motivated just a little more than usual.
Dating an independent girl is kind of like a college student drinking a can of Red Bull after an all-nighter cram session, we’ll provide that little extra push that you may have needed. We live life with purpose and have our own goals and visions for the future. When you stick with us you’ll always have someone to commend you for all of your accomplishments and a reminder to learn from your mistakes. We surround ourselves with people that will help us grow as individuals, that especially includes our significant other whom we share our most intimate thoughts and personal moments with.

Don’t be afraid to call us out.
We may be females, but we’re not dainty little creatures. “Honesty is the best policy,” as an old cliche, is also quite true. I’m not going to sit there and expect you to read my mind because that’s not how I work either. If you do something to bother me, I won’t hesitate to call you out, and if you respect me as an equal in this relationship, I’ll do the same for you. Relationships have their ups and downs, and the biggest key is proper communication. Beating around the bush isn’t our style, and we don’t like wasting our time with petty situations. If you’re looking for something more sugar-coated, then you should probably just go buy yourself a cookie.

“You’re intimidating”
In other words, that's guy talk for “the fact that you have ambitions, and you’re okay with paying for dinner sometimes kind of scares me sh*tless." I am woman, hear me roar. Guys, before you stumbled into our anything-but-ordinary lives, we were working towards establishing ourselves. We may be working part-time jobs while going to college or maybe we're graduated and working in the real world, point is we've reached a stage in our lives where we've been providing for ourselves. Being treated once in awhile is a sweet gesture, chivalry isn’t dead yet, after all. Just don’t feel totally emasculated when I want to return the favor once in awhile. We’re comfortable paying our own way and will feel a bit funny if you constantly insist on picking up the bill. We may seem so self-reliant, content and in control that you may wonder if whether you’re actually needed in our lives. You are, we’re confident and directed, but we cherish someone who appreciates rather than fears these qualities.

Prepare for little bit of a bumpy ride.
Oftentimes, opening up isn’t easy for us. We can be stubborn and go about handling something a certain way even if we realize you’re only trying to help. I’m a strong, independent woman that don’t need no man — but uh, yeah, your help would kind of be useful sometimes. Just don’t expect us to ask or tell you right away, forgive us, sometimes it takes a little extra persistence and patience.

We love to love.
When it comes down to it, when we love, boy do we love. That word in itself isn’t commonly thrown around by us. Sure, the way we demonstrate feelings for you might be a bit different than most girls. We’re not going to put you on blast as our #mcm on every social media possible (sorry if Channing Tatum shirtless gets a shout-out before you), and we may come across as distant at times, but I promise you’ll know how we feel about you in a more thoughtful way. We don't waste our time for anything or anyone, so the fact that you've won us over means that you're automatically special in our eyes. Living life half-assed isn’t our style, when we do something, we put a lot of passion into it, this includes you.

Until recently I was going about life without having to really consider anyone else’s feelings, especially not a boyfriends, because that just wasn’t on my agenda at the time. How I got in the relationship with my current boyfriend was an accidental occurrence, but a good one nonetheless. Though we were friends for awhile beforehand, that still didn't fully prepare us for what we were getting into. He deals with my stubborn ways, encourages my independence, praises all the times I succeed in life and never once lets it intimidate him. He’s still learning the how-to’s when dating someone as independent as I am, just as I’m learning to ease up a bit and accept the fact that at one point it eventually stops being all about me and more about "us."