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A Blessing In Disguise: The Middle Child's Life Told By Her Older Sister With Special Needs

Caroline: female, age 21, all things Disney advocate, a diva with a rare mitochondrial disorder, Taylor Swift lover, (but most importantly) my big sister.

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A Blessing In Disguise: The Middle Child's Life Told By Her Older Sister With Special Needs
Libby Redd

(December 1999) I'm three. Momma has my baby sister in her belly. Momma says she will play barbies too. (February 2000) Sister's here. She's a fat baby. I love her. (June 2002) Daddy takes us on the mower, making us sleepy. We wake up in my big girl bed after. How did we get here? (August 2003) I'm in Kindergarten. I like puzzles, but coloring is hard. Sister can color in the lines. I try to, but I can't. Momma gives me practice scissors, but I am the only one in my class that has them. Sister says they are better than the scissors that she has to use in preschool. At bedtime, Sister sleeps in my bed with me, but she has her own room. I love her.

(March 2004) Sister and I get earrings. I think she's too little, but Momma lets her. I'm scared, so Sister holds my hand. She wipes my cheek but doesn't cry. I love her. (June 2004) I feel funny. We're swimming in the hotel pool. "Marco!" yells Sister, eyes closed. Water fills my mouth. Everything is dark. Sister yells at Momma. Daddy jumps in the pool to grab me. Splash! Everything shakes. I'm in a big ambulance truck. The doctors talk to Mommy and Daddy. Sister's with Meme. I miss her. Momma says I had a seizure, whatever that means.

(June 2005) Momma is pregnant. I thought we already had enough. Sister's mad that we're going to have a baby brother. I wanted a boy, but she wanted a girl… I won. We call him "Ivey."

(July 2006) People ask me hard questions. I don't ask her to, but Sister answers them for me. She beats me when we get ready for school and helps me get my clothes on then brushes my hair, so we aren't late. She says she wishes she had my thick hair. We dance to Cheetah Girls.

(November 2006) We're at the Hannah Montana concert. I feel funny. Lib puts her hands over my eyes because of the lights. I love her.

(March 2009) Momma is singing at church. My head hurts. I want to lay down. Lib looks at me and whispers to Meme. Lib always knows when there is something wrong. I love her. Everything is dark again. I wake up. Momma and Daddy talk to doctors. Where is Lib?

(August 2011) I'm different than the other kids, but I don't know why. Lib is in middle school with me. She visits my classroom often. She has a top locker, but I use a cubby. My fingers don't like the lockers. Sister says I have it better though because she keeps forgetting her combination. (September 2011) I feel sick. My Meme stays at home with Lib and Ivey. Momma and Daddy are with me at the hospital. I think Momma is sad. Daddy gives her a kiss on the cheek. I look at the poster Lib made me. I love her.

(March 2012) Momma and Daddy are on a trip. I was all better until last week, but I'm sick again. I hit my brother really hard, but I didn't mean to. He's crying. Lib takes him to the other room. Lib always takes care of us. I love her.

(September 2015) I go to all Lib and Ivey's ballgames. I sit in my pink chair. Momma lets me bring my DVD player. I like my movies better. It's hard to keep my balance and write my name. I'm tired. At halftime, Lib always comes to give me a kiss on my cheek. I wipe it off. She says that just rubs the love in. She calls me "sassy girl." I love her.

(May 2016) Lib curls my hair and does my makeup for graduation. She loves makeup. I got a new phone and Lib helps me get on Facebook. She shares her friends with me when they spend the night at our house. I love her.

(August 2016) Lib got her license. I didn't get to. Momma said it was because Lib is my chauffeur. She takes me to Sonic and gets me a Sprite. (September 2016) I'm nineteen. I love to get my nails done. I usually get pink, but I get French because that's what Lib does. I love her.

(June 2017) I'm sick again Who are these people? They make me eat and I scream. I'm not sleeping. I walk in circles and Lib walks with me, holding my hand. I push her down, but she gets up and walks with me again. Momma holds me down while I jerk and move. Lib gives me the shot in my butt and it hurts. While Momma gives me my yucky medicine, Lib sings me Taylor Swift songs. I like it, but I don't feel good. I love her.

(August 2018) I'm not sick right now. I go to school even though I graduated. I get to go until I'm twenty-one. I like school because my friends are here. Lib used to take me and Ivey to school, but Lib left for college. Ivey wants Lib's room, but I keep telling him he has his own. Lib FaceTimes me while I am watching Disney- it's my favorite. She sings my songs on the phone. I miss her (and the grilled cheese she makes me.) I love her,

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