I know I am a planner. I plan my life months -- sometimes even years -- ahead of time with the assumption that everything is going to work out. I love the saying "failing to plan is planning to fail." I sometimes forget that plan "A" doesn't always work out, and I don't always have a plan "B" in my back pocket. I have become increasingly aware this week that even though I may think I know exactly how my life is going to pan out, that isn't always the case.
When our plans don't work out and we don't have a plan "B" lined up, often times we start panicking and we feel that our world is coming to an end. I had a set plan for myself for the next 2 years and I discovered this past week that my plan was going to be derailed. I had a small indication that might be that case a few weeks back, but I didn't plan for it because I had hoped I wouldn't need to.
Once I had the news that my plan wasn't going to work out, I started panicking. It took talking to a few of my mentors as well as some close friends to come to the realization that my world was not ending, my plan was just taking a detour.
I was able to think clearly after coming to this realization and I discovered that there were some really positive benefits to having my plan take a detour. I think a lot of the time when things don't go according to plan, we instantly start mourning the loss of all the things that we thought we were going to be able to do and we fail to recognize that there are new opportunities awaiting us.
I wouldn't say that I am 100% okay with where I see my life going, but I would say that I am slowly becoming more okay with the path that I am headed on. I am not somebody that enjoys change, but a benefit to experiencing unexpected change is that I will become more comfortable with change over time.
I have always felt that the best way to confront things that I struggle with is to confront those things head on, no matter how uncomfortable it may make me. I know in the end combating my struggles will make me a stronger person.
I want to give you some steps to take if you have had your plans change and you too are starting to panic.
1. Take a deep breath
You cannot think clearly if your heart is racing and your stress level is going though the roof.
2. Tell yourself that it is all going to be okay
If you believe it will work out, it will.
3. Talk to somebody you trust
Tell them you're struggling and ask them if they can listen. They may or may not provide advice, but if they do provide advice, make sure you listen. If you talk to a mentor, more than likely this too has happened to them. If you don't feel like you want to hear the advice, then just ask them to listen.
4. Make a pro's and con's list for the plan that has changed
I know it seems as if the situation is completely negative but I promise that in most-not all cases, some good will come from this. Whether that be new opportunities that have opened up, or you became stronger because of the trials that you faced.
5. Set new goals for yourself
This will give you something to work towards and to look forward to.
I understand it's uncomfortable when plans change, and I am by no means saying that it is always a good thing. However, if you allow yourself to be upset by things that are out of your control, then you're allowing yourself to focus on the negative. I truly believe that there is always a silver lining, sometimes it just takes a bit of time to come out of the clouds and discover it.
Robert H. Schuller said it best: "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines." You are in control of how you react to the situations surrounding you. Make each day the best it can be, and even though you may struggle at times, you'll be okay.
And lastly, it's okay to take some time to yourself when life knocks you down. The important thing is to lean on those around you and to make sure you don't allow yourself to stay down too long. There is a whole world out there waiting for you, go and conquer it!
