Netflix's hit show "You" is a psychological thriller that delves deep into the mind of our main protagonist, and self-proclaimed "nice guy," Joe. "You" has been a hit show it took the TV world by storm and has enraptured people in a conversational, social media-centered thriller.
Our sociopathic protagonist, Joe Goldberg, has absolutely no boundaries and, without consent, infiltrates his love interest's life until he gets what he wants. This show is one of my favorites for all of its commentary on the modern world of dating, safety on the internet, and boundaries.
Whether you find Joe to be perfect, or you hate his guts, here's a couple lies you might hear from "nice guys" that you should never believe, straight from the horse's mouth.
1. "Oh, are you not wearing a bra? And you wanted me to notice? If this were a movie, I'd grab at you and we'd go at it right in the stacks..."
I don't think it's any of your business to be commenting on what a girl chooses to wear. Bra or not, none of your business, bud. And to even go as far as to make assumptions based on it... disgusting. Firstly, Joe makes the assumption that Beck does this for attention, then he assumes that Beck is attracted to him just because they have playful banter. Next, he thinks the attraction is so mutual that "if it were a movie," they'd go at it like in a porno. How common is this type of thought process? Do some guys really think this way?
2. "At the end of the day, people are really just disappointing, aren't they? But are you, Beck?"
Ah yes, the intelligent "I hate all people" approach. Charming at first glance, but if this isn't Gen Z humor and you truly believe this, then that's a red flag. To me, this just seems like a lack of empathy. And clearly, Joe doesn't have much of it.
3. "For some reason, we share our nights with your friends and appointment viewing 'The Bachelor.' How can self-respecting women tolerate this crap? Sometimes I swear I'm the only real feminist you know."
"I'm the only real feminist you know," I don't know, Joe. Judging a woman's world views solely by their choice in show sounds close-minded, harsh, and like he's jumping to conclusions. You can watch a show like "The Bachelor" and still call yourself a feminist, so these things are not connected. "Nice" guys like Joe only accept you if you fit into their world view, anyway. Another red flag.
4. "It's customary. The inventory of past heartbreak. But Candace, I'm not sure how to tell you about her yet. It's too soon."
Talking about exes is always a rough time for everyone. In Joe's case, he murdered her. In other people's cases, it's probably just a bad breakup. However, if you're dating someone and that "nice" guy tells you it's too soon to tell you about someone, then you have every right to be mildly suspicious. If you trust him, take his word. But if he's anything like Joe, you need to take that yellow flag and look out for unfinished business and lingering feelings.
5. "[You're] Too busy living out moments you won't remember five years from now. Candidly, it's the least appealing thing about you, Beck."
This is referring to the social media posts about drinking, partying, and more drinking that the quintessential young adult displays on their feed. Beck's a free person and is allowed to enjoy herself. Even if Joe happens to be right, he just sounds like an asshole here.
6. "If anything, the fact that you didn't share me with your followers only confirms that we really connected."
One encounter and Joe assumes by the "fakeness" of Beck's social media that an absent post about him means he's suddenly important to Beck? She doesn't even know him! This is ridiculous on every level.
7. "My guess is, if he really came anywhere close to making yourself come, you'd make a Broadway show out of it. But you didn't. Because he didn't."
Joe is a stalker. Watching Beck have sex with another person, violating consent and boundaries and breaking the ACTUAL LAW. Not only is this super douchey of him to assume that you're better at sex from the beginning, but also he's being a literal stalker! To me, this is the BIGGEST red flag. If a stranger thinks they can make you orgasm and is thinking about having sex with you with no prompt, run.
8. "We're a lot alike Beck. Last of the true romantics."
Ugh. The only similarity is that you're both looking for love.
9. "We all have baggage. But I feel like I'm dealing with it the right way."
I don't know, Joe. Dealing with your baggage by hyper-focusing on another girl and STALKING HER doesn't seem like you're dealing with your baggage successfully. After murdering your last girlfriend because she cheated on you and left, stalking this one as a response doesn't seem like something your shrink might suggest.
The message from Joe Goldberg? Never, ever trust a "nice guy." Especially if they're self-proclaimed. Whether they're in your favorite TV show or in your Instagram DMs, these types of guys are truly the worst, so please do yourself a favor and stay away.
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