As I was watching the newest installment of “Ghostbusters,” I couldn’t help but become mesmerized by one character in particular. Kate McKinnon’s portrayal of the quirky engineer, Dr. Jillian Holtzmann, is something that has resonated with me. McKinnon is "Saturday Night Live"'s first openly lesbian cast member and for that, it raises the question of whether or not the character of Holtzmann was of the LGBT spectrum as well. I myself identify as a bisexual woman and seeing another woman who loves women in film is gratifying to no end.
I have watched “Blue Is the Warmest Color,” “The Kids Are All Right,” and “But I’m a Cheerleader” multiple times. I try, time and time again, to see myself in each film and try to decipher what it is I cannot relate to. Where the french film has a heart wrenching ending and “The Kids Are All Right” can be confusing and difficult to truly decide who the antagonist is, there is at least the sly comedic digs in the satiric film of “But I’m a Cheerleader” to keep girls who like other girls afloat. The lack of representation in mainstream media has been frustrating at times as there are a plethora of straight couples with bright, sunny endings to their stories.
In Holtzmann’s swagger and overall unwavering confidence in both mannerisms and eccentric quips, there is a happiness and reassurance in who she is. The character owns the world around her and doesn’t become affronted or aloof at the sight of others who may disagree with how she presents herself. There is hope in this character and for that, I like to think that she could be like a part of myself. Movies were designed for others to enjoy and interpret. This artform was made for the general public and as each member can pick and prod at every intended usage of a verb or movement of a single prop there will be girls of all types watching and wishing and hoping that they can relate in a way that others cannot.
The world is not a kind place for those who identify as a member of the LGBT group. There are hateful beliefs that can discount the emotions and genuine love that these people pose and with the proper exposure through film, there comes education and comfortability in something that was once unknown. While she is not the first, nor the last, character to be debated as an LGBT member, it is still nice to discuss and believe that she is. In her confidence comes the ability to make one young girl feel less alone in the world and to show her peers that she exists and is valid.
Film is a means to get away from the world around you. There is magic in that. The ability to disappear into another person’s creation for two and a half hours and becoming emotionally tethered to what you see. It’s nice to see a part of your soul on the screen and know that those in the room can also see that you exist and are not bad or stigmatized or wrong. You are you and that’s all you have to be in the end.
