While many people try to give you advice on how to prepare you for your first semester at college, no one really tells you how things will be when you go back home for your first winter break.
Even if you came home for a weekend or two in between, you don't really realize how much everything and everyone has changed until you're forced to really take a hard look. College changes people.
It it changes people more than you could possibly imagine.
For some, the college experience has allowed them to blossom into the person they always wanted to be, but never truly had the confidence to become. While others may have lost sight of who they are and now continue to stay lost in their new environments.
Many people are still trying to find their footing and are working out the kinks in the process.
Everyone reacts to it differently. The people you used to see everyday look different, act different and sound different.
And when you look in the mirror you realize that who you used to be seems to be light years away.
There are two extremely important things to take away from winter break. Take away the holiday gifts, what weight you think you've gained at college and leave the comfort of home or your vacations behind, and seriously pay attention to the person that you have become.
The first realization is this: people have changed and sometimes they don't fit into your life anymore... or perhaps it's that you don't fit into theirs. Your goals, aspirations, identity and self-image have all shifted because you had the time to grow as an individual.
The same goes for every other college freshman, when you come back together, it may not all work anymore. There may be things that were unsaid that changed everything. There may be people who chose to cut you out. And all of that can hurt. But it can also be freeing. It can allow you to continue to grow as an adult and learn something valuable about how people were in high school versus in college.
At the end of the day, your happiness depends on you and no one else. Don't allow unfulfilling friendships to remain in your life, pick your head up and move forward. You will find your place.
The second thing is to realize that your family will always be there, no matter how far away you may go. Even if your house doesn't necessarily feel like home the way it used to or if you can't call your old bedroom yours anymore thanks to a younger sibling, that doesn't mean the people who live there are any less your family.
They are your biggest cheerleaders. They have prepared you to go out into the world and do something truly amazing. They fought with you through the hell that is the college application process so you could get to where you are now, a more complete, strong, and mature individual. They want you to go out and have these adventures. But they're only a text, phone call, or train ride away should you ever need a little comfort and love to fall back on.
As winter break dies down, you may be itching to head back to school or dreading leaving the comfort of your home behind.
No matter what, remember both your family at home and your family at school are there to support you and love you and help you find your passion.
Take those people with you. And don't be afraid to let others, the ones who have done all they can for you, go on to build their own journeys.
You don't have to be perfect and you don't have to fix anyone.
