When I was younger, I was always really bitter about people who made the decision to not be in my life — or the ones who decided to cut me off entirely. No matter how much you reiterate to yourself that all these feelings or people do not matter, they do still matter to a certain extent.
For those who say that they don't give two hoots about anyone or anything, you need to stop lying to yourself. No one will ever believe that, unless you are someone who is totally devoid of emotion.
You can tell yourself not to care. You can give yourself a million explanations for another person's actions and behavior. But you can't deny the feelings within.
We're all guilty of this. We tend to care too much about things or people that should be long forgotten or out of our lives.
What did I do to you? What is so intolerable about me that you so desperately wanted me out of your life? These are the questions that haunt us after someone walks away.
As a matter of fact, cutting people off is a gradual process. You can't just cut people off or remove them from your life, as easily as you think. Just thinking about that is more than enough to drive anyone to insanity and extreme insecurity.
When you are cut off entirely, you begin to overanalyze every single detail from the past. You blame yourself for not being attentive enough. You find ways to nitpick and magnify all your flaws.
You hit rock bottom so fast and so hard that putting yourself back together seems like mission impossible.
Most times, when you get cut off, you won't get an explanation. Or, let me put it this way: You won't get the chance to explain yourself or to fight for the person to stay with you.
Like most people, I find explaining things to be a chore. Perhaps, this is the reason people don't want to explain things, especially in undesirable situations that make them look less honorable — like ending a friendship or relationship.
Holding on to a person who no longer wants to be in your life is self-punishment. The lack of willingness is apparent, and every relationship is always a choice. Once this decision is made, he or she is already on the way to the exit, leaving you in the lurch.
So, how about you be the bigger person and show them the way out? They have given you the signal to do so through their emotional detachment.
Be strong enough to endure this momentary loneliness. A person who sincerely wants to be in your life will be truthful to you. You'll find ways to resolve issues together.
On the other hand, begging someone to remain in your life may seem like the antidote for now. But there will be a heavier price to pay in the end. Nothing good will come out of this option, except for a temporary way to soothe your emotions.
However, your pride has already been trampled on and bruised beyond repair. Why would you want to do this for someone who already regarded you as temporary the moment they voiced their intentions?
Let them go. This is for the best.
