This seven- part series called “Letting Go” will cover seven topics that we all struggle to let go of at different seasons of our lives. But why do we? Why do we hold on to temporary things when they deteriorate us and make us miserable? The fifth part of this series will cover heartbreak- so without further ado, here is Part 5: Letting Go of Heartbreak:

We all go through heartbreak more than once in our lives. It hurts, doesn’t it? I don’t know what it is that you’ve gone through, whether it was the loss of a loved one, a breakup, loss of friendship, someone didn’t treat you right, or maybe your dreams didn’t become a reality. Whatever it is, you’ve had to learn how to live with it and maybe you went into depression or you cried yourself to sleep for years.

I wish I could sit here today and tell you I haven’t been through a crazy amount of heartbreak but I can’t. As you can tell from Part 1 of this series, I’ve been through a lot. (If you haven’t read it yet, read ithere). And there have been more things that have broken my heart than what I mentioned in that article. I had expectations and hopes for a relationship that I’m now glad didn’t happen, but at the time, I cried for hours on end because I thought my world was breaking. I thought my whole future was gone, and I realize now that that is an over-exaggeration. But that’s real life! Heartbreak is a terrible thing to have to live with. My best friend and I didn’t talk for two months last year, and when you lose your best friend, it’s like losing a part of yourself. In the beginning of 2015, I had to watch my grandmother battle brain cancer, and in case you didn’t know, there is currently no cure for that. All you can do is sit there and wait, hoping for a miracle, and in her case, it didn’t come. I could list multiple things that broke me into a million pieces, but I won’t go into detail about them all.

And while these and other things hurt a lot, I wouldn’t have changed them for the world.

Wait, what?
Yeah, I said it.

Yes, I would love to still have my grandmother here. I wish she could be there to see me get married and to watch my kids grow up. Yeah, I think my whole fight with my best friend was stupid, but these things formed me into who I am. These things developed my understanding of who God is and who He intended me to be.

And while I can’t sit here today and tell you that I haven’t been through a crazy amount of heartbreak, I can sit here and tell you that Christ has overcome the things that broke my heart. I can now say that my heart is whole because of the healing He did and the truths that he instilled in me because of the heartbreak I've experienced.

Heartbreak doesn’t chain me.

I am not defined by the things that happened to me.

I have a new life because of the love that Christ has given me.

While I was going through the situation with the boy I had high hopes for, my youth group was going through a study in Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes is a book in the Bible that deals with a lot of things, but one of the main things we talked about was identity. Until then, I had no hope and I was just frustrated with the situation, but then I understood. I understood that the heartbreak I was going through was only temporary. This heartbreak was forming me into who I was destined to be, and the things that were happening didn’t have to keep happening. I didn’t have to sit there and wait for nothing to happen. The things that hurt me were preparing me and forming me to be the woman I am now.

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” -Ecclesiastes 1:18.

Shoot.

That verse means so much to me- it did so much to heal my heart. “With much wisdom comes much sorrow.”

The sorrow you’re feeling now, that’s only temporary. You must go through those things sometimes.

The hurt you’re feeling now is not going to last forever and you are going to move on to better things.

Turn to Him.

Surrender your bruised heart to Him and to his mission.

You probably don’t think of the Bible as your first resource for getting over your heartbreak but it actually does do a lot to minister to your heart when dealing with something that shattered it. Why aren’t you bringing your shattered heart to the ultimate Healer?

You probably do what I do and you go to vent to your friends when you’re hurting. That is such a bad habit of mine. I start crying and I need a hug and comfort. I need someone right here, right now to tell me it’s going to be okay.

But that shouldn’t be my first resort.

I forget that I have an ever-present God in my life, sometimes.

I need to train myself to surrender before I cry for help from others.

I need to train myself to let God wipe my tears before I ask others to.

And don’t get me wrong, God has placed such great mentors and godly women in my life who point me to the cross when I’m hurting. He places women in my life at exactly the right moment because He knows that I need someone like that who is going to tell me it’s okay. But it’s only okay because God is shaping me and He has a plan.

When you’re going through something that hurts you, you might “know” that there is a plan because of it, but you don’t want to believe it. You can’t imagine why God would allow these things to happen to you and have something good come out of it.

No matter how many times you hear that- “He has a plan for this.” You hear it, but in the moment, it sort of goes in one ear and out the other, doesn’t it? Until you fully believe that truth in your heart, there isn’t going to be any change that comes out of it.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” -C.S. Lewis.

It’s hard to let go of things that hurt you. I know that feeling all too well.

*Cue the Taylor Swift music*

It breaks you into a million pieces when you have to let go of something that you’ve probably grown to love and appreciate. Maybe the thing or person that hurt you was your backbone for a long time but now they aren’t there anymore and you’re broken. I understand that hurt and that emptiness.

But we let it consume us and we don’t get anywhere in life because we’re stuck trying to overcome the obstacle but we don’t even consider surrendering it to the Overcomer.

We don’t take the key.

My eyes swelled up with so many tears for months and months.

Heartbreak sucks.

Not only does heartbreak suck while you’re dealing with it but you’re forced to deal with it after you even think you’re over it. It still affects the way you interact with people and it chains you with the fear of commitment and fear of losing important people in your life. It affects everything you are.

I know what that fear looks like because a couple of months ago, it came back again. Even now that I don’t even have hard feelings toward the people that hurt me, it still comes back every now and then and affects the way I interact with people.

Let me say this again- surrender.

Lean on the Lord to guide you and heal your heart. Consider the things He is doing. It is not to see you suffer and it is not to place fear in your heart, but to mold you and shape you into the servant that you are because of His finished work on the cross. Leave your heart in the palm of His hand and He will give you rest and He will be your ultimate source of peace.

But just because you let go doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt. Even after you surrender your hurt to the Lord, it still scars you, a lot of the times, more than you’d like, but our lives would be so much easier if we let God’s overwhelming love captivate us.

Let go of your heartbreak and be free of the chains of hurt that bind you. You don’t have to be let it hurt you.

“Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” -James 1:2-4.