It seems like the blonde hair and bright-blue eyes gets me every time, but this time there was something different. It was as if I was captivated by this boy... whatever he said, I did. I am normally a very independent person, but this boy was my crutch, some days it was as if I needed his approval to simply live. Obviously, this is not a healthy way to live or a healthy relationship to be in, but I was stuck.
When I was in high school, I was constantly surrounded by my large friend group and him. Everything I did, he was always invited, even though he rarely invited me anywhere. However, there were a lot of nights that it was just my friends and I, but then there were nights where it was just Him and I. Basically, whatever I was doing I wanted to be with him.
Our relationship started off as just friends, and I wish more than anything that it would have stayed there... but it did not, and that is completely my fault. My parents warned me, my sister warned me, and my friends warned me, but I felt as if it were a decision that I had to make myself.
Two and a half years later, and I have let him go.
The feeling inside of me that I feel now, is nothing compared to the way that I felt when I was with him but in a good way. When I was with him, I thought I was happy until now that I actually am genuinely happy. I go to school every day, I hang out with my friends, and I go to the beach, all without wanting him there. Letting go and living my own life without constantly concerning myself with his, has helped me grow in ways that I did not know were possible. I now look to myself for my own approval before worrying about anyone else's, which is how it should be. Although those two and half years of my life I will never get back, I learned a valuable lesson from them: do what makes you happy.