When someone says, "let go," you're also hearing "move on;" I've never been good at exercising either one. For the most part, I get stuck and instead think irrationally and hope there's more. Basically, in denial, I mentally run away from an outcome I desperately want to avoid.
From what I've noticed it's comfort. I think we're all so accustomed to our usual routines and once it's broken, we're utterly lost and confused. I know I'm not the only one who finds comfort in stable and loving friendships. And why would I or anyone give that up?
Two years ago I moved away to college (Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi), where a beautiful island introduced me to an incredible group of friends with whom I share my most prized memories. But through the joy came an ending when I transferred to Texas Tech.
The only problem was I began to miss the warm, humid days, the sun setting over the horizon, and most importantly my friends. At the time I didn't understand what I was leaving behind. It sounds silly now, but I didn't think my friendships would change because well, they were just that special to me.
I wanted to believe that distance wouldn't change anything. After all in this era of technology, why would a friendship change?
But even keeping in touch wasn't the same. I had to accept I wasn't part of their lives anymore. I didn't live 5 minutes away, I couldn't call them for lunch, and I couldn't be there when they needed a friend.
Practically in denial with my life changing made me stuck between moving on and not knowing how to. While I knew moving would better my future, I didn't think it would be hard to move on and start over.
I found it was more the idea of letting go. Realizing those moments had passed and thinking "was that really it?" and for that bare second hoping it wasn't
It wasn't until I told myself to stop looking back and to start experiencing Lubbock and the many opportunities Tech offered that brought me peace of mind.
Through this, I learned to view the concept of letting go through a different lens. You can let go of the past, but you don't have to let go of the memories that made you who are today.
Those who were once my close friends became my long-distance friends. The best part is I can call them no matter the distance; the worse part is realizing it's only a call.
Thinking back it still aches my heart but I cherish those moments and understand that there is a world out there waiting for me and getting stuck in the past isn't the way to start a new beginning. So I decided it was time to let go. You know, I think we all get so wrapped up in our comfort zone we forget to look forward. While I'm still working on getting better at accepting change I am more open to the idea of new beginnings and seeing life as what is and not as what was.
