Love, in the simplest definition, is defined in the Merriam Webster Dictionary as “a feeling of strong or constant affection for someone." Loving someone at such a young age can be challenging. The first person I truly loved, I met when I was only 18, and looking back on this now, I realize that it was single-handedly the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. Love is fragile, and we aren’t always the most careful when handling it, but he and I were. I never imagined that there would come a time when I didn’t still have feelings for him, so when that day came I was a little shocked. I didn't know if I would want to attempt a friendship with someone I had liked so incredibly much, but anything is possible. Due to the fact that he impacted my life in so many positive ways, I knew that a friendship was worth a shot. I’m writing this letter to show everyone how much you can appreciate love that is lost, and how there doesn’t always have to be animosity among exes in today’s world.
To my first love,
Thank you for showing me that good guys still exist. I had hit such a rough patch over the few years before I met you, and meeting you last year was truly perfect timing. I was beginning to lose hope that people like you still existed.
Thank you for being the ideal old-fashioned boy. For always opening the door for me, for never letting me pay for anything, for never forgetting to write me letters back, for being genuine in all the most important ways. You were so different than any other person I had ever met -- you were quiet and reserved but looked as though you were the most confident person in the room. You walked like you didn’t have a care in the world. You walked as though you knew how great you were, when in reality you were the most humble man I had ever encountered.
You were sweet and unafraid to be open -- qualities that are hard to find at such a young age. You were generous and nurturing, in ways that I needed at that time in my life. You were everything that I needed since that first night when we met.
Thank you for being open. I am a very curious person. I ask so many questions and I ask them persistently. I want to know every part of someone, and considering that you were far shyer than I was it was probably not your favorite thing in the world having to answer every single thought that came across my intrusive mind. So thank you for letting me ask and thank you for always answering.
Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for always being there for me, even to this day. Thank you for allowing me days where I just vent about how angry or upset I am about random crap in my life. Thank you for letting me tell you when I'm mad at you. Thank you for the beautiful memories and for still allowing me to play a role in your life. Thank you for being one of the best people I've ever met and for still making me feel like one of the most important people in your world (even if I'm not anymore).
Thank you for making me look at the world in a different way. You are one of those people who truly believes that everyone walks into your life for a reason. I was someone who wasn’t sure what to believe. Of course I thought about fate and karma, but I never considered and pondered the idea of everyone serving a purpose. Now I look at the world in a way I never imagined. Every stranger knows something that I don’t. I can learn something from every single person that I encounter.
Lastly, thank you for teaching me I was worth being loved. Thank you for showing me that I was capable of having something simple, pure and lovely. Thank you for caring for me and thank you for making such an effort to understand every single aspect of my incredibly complex personality. Thank you for making me laugh so hard I would cry. Thank you for listening to me rant about how much I love James Bay’s music or how I am watching "Gossip Girl" for the thousandth time. Thank you for letting me back into your life and forgiving me after I wasn’t the best version of myself. Thank you for being you. You were truly the best friend I had ever had and I'll never forget you for that. I could not be more happy and appreciative that you were my first love.
