Hey Old Friend,
Please, I beg of you, just stop.
Stop belittling me. Stop telling me I'm not good enough. Overall, can you stop being my pretend friend? I have put my trust into you, and I thought you would one day be my maid of honor. Now I sit here thinking back on our friendship, and I'm realizing how unhealthy it truly was.
I can remember when we first met, you had a charismatic personality. You were the type that always stood out in the crowd. I was the shy new girl, who was chunky, yet you adopted me. I thought I was special because you wanted to be friends with me. As the years went by, our friendship was put to the test, and we always found each other again. Some other friends made comments that how you treated me and others was unfair, but I always ignored them. I thought you were a truly good person, and I would stand by your side through it all.
Then something changed. Maybe it was with help from friends in college, or the way you acted once you transferred schools, but I was finally able to notice your bad side. The way you always made me feel like I wasn't good enough, or hot enough. You would always raise your self-esteem by lowering mine. Telling me how I really needed to workout more or eat less...you know be more like you. Yet when we went to the gym I pushed myself harder, and I ate healthier. Unfortunately my weight was always higher than yours and so at the end of the day I wasn't doing enough.
The worst was when you told me my only goal in college should be to get laid.
You knew my biggest insecurity and made it worse. I never felt like someone could love me or be intimate with me, and when I expressed my concerns you called me ridiculous. To you the fact I was a virgin became a joke. You would constantly tell our friends back home that certain games weren't fun to play with me because I have never done things. On my birthday we saw this very scene play out. Apparently playing "Never Have I Ever" with me wasn't fun. Oh, but it only got better from there.
How about the fact that on my birthday you broke your promise? You told me you would never try to sleep with the guy I used to like. You knew it would hurt me because once again someone chose you over me. Yet one drink in and you start coming onto him right in front of me. I was so upset I had to go for a walk outside. Even the guy apologized for your actions, and that says a lot. Then as the night continues not only do you try to get with this guy, but you threw up.
So there I was on my birthday cleaning up your vomit while you yell at the guy to help you.
I never got an apology for that night. I don't even think you know what you did. It was the event that began the ending of our friendship.
Sometimes I do miss you, like a lot. I mean you were like my best friend soul mate, but then I think about all the pain you put me through. I know ending the friendship was the best choice. I never regret being your friend because you helped mold me into the person I am, but I do regret trying to hang on to something that was never really there.
Sincerely,
The friend you screwed over
