I wanted to write this letter to you guys now that I've officially been away from home for a semester (and then some) now.

Nick and Jake, I never thought I would understand how hard leaving home would be, especially because of you two. I never realized how much I'd miss you guys driving me nuts and bringing me more joy than you both know. When I thought about the morning I left to come here, (that you both would come home from school and I'd be gone) it broke my heart. It breaks my heart to hear how sometimes you will look at my room and it'll sink in that I'm not home. But hey, you've got all summer to look forward to with me!

I just wanted to say how much I wish I could've been there to see your first Santa Switch (Jake) and how I miss (Nick) how you love to bake and get so excited when we love what you make, which is always. I miss how you both can always make me laugh and how I'd wake up to you running around in the hallway. I miss the stupid jokes and crazy antics, and the jokes we have. I miss your hugs, your voices and your craziness. Side note -- I hate that you're both taller than me now, it makes me realize how much you really are growing up. Stay little.

And now, I'm going to write something for each of you.

Nick,

Hey bub, I hope everything is going well (I'm sure it is). I love getting to see the pictures you put on your story on Snapchat. You look like you're having a blast this year!! I know you guys get to see me more than some kids can see their siblings, but I'm going to talk to you like you don't get to.

Keep up on your studies, they matter more than you think. But don't forget to have fun and relax. It's okay to get overwhelmed and take a step back sometimes, but only until you can calm down because you always have to get back up and keep going.

Have fun with your friends, take in all the scenery of Newburgh. Remember what it feels like to walk around Castle, the day you walk there for the last time is going to come faster than you think it will. Cherish the time you have in your bed -- you'll miss it when it's not yours to sleep in on a regular basis. Be happy to spend time at home with Mom and Dad, and with Jake, because one of these days, you'll be going to school too, and it doesn't matter how far away it is -- you'll still miss them. Even if you think that Newburgh is a boring town, just wait -- you'll miss the quiet and the river and the corn fields.

Keep being your kind and caring self, Nick. You have the biggest heart -- it's so full of love and there's space for everyone in it. Keep sharing that love; it makes the world a better place. Always tell Mom and Dad that you love them when you leave to go anywhere and before you go to bed, and always do your best to drive safe (I know you do and will). They love you more than you know, and so do I.

You made me a big sister, and I can't express to you how important you are to me. I'm so proud of you, what you've overcome, who you are, and where your life is taking you. I love you more than I know how to tell you, and even though you can drive me up a wall, and I do the same to you, I wouldn't want anyone else to be my little brother. I love you to the moon and back, and I'll see you soon, I promise.

Love,

Sissy

Jake,

Hey googie, and yes, I did say that. A lot of what I said to Nick is going to be true for you as well. Remember what the house sounds like early in the morning when everyone is just waking up, because someday, you'll be out of the house. I know it seems like so far away, but it really isn't. It's coming faster than you know.

Keep pushing yourself in your academics, but it's okay to take a step back and relax if you need it. Grades are important, but they don't define you. That goes for you both. Have fun playing soccer and enjoy the process of just starting to look for schools.

I'm sorry for starting to cry the last time I was home when you made me laugh as I was putting my shoes on. It hit me how much I'd miss you making me laugh. Keep making people laugh, you have a gift for it. Keep spreading joy and keep caring about people. You have a huge heart, and it's in the right place. Always tell Mom and Dad that you love them, and when you start driving, you better be careful too. (I'm saying that now so I have written record of me as your big sister, telling you to).

I love getting to come home and see you, but it's kind of crazy how tall you've gotten. You're my LITTLE brother, so quit getting so tall!!! Keep dancing in the kitchen and attacking me with pillows tucked up in your shirt. You made me a big sister for the second time. I didn't think I was ever going to be able to love two people so much, but I love you and Nick more than you guys know. I'm so proud of you and the young man you're becoming. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for you. I love you to the moon and back, and I cant imagine life without your crazy antics, no matter how annoying they sometimes are. Thank you for being amazing. I'll see you soon.

Love,

Sissy

You boys mean more to me than I can express, but I hope this maybe will give you an idea. We're siblings, we're not supposed to get along all the time, and I know we argue and drive each other crazy. But I also know that we love each other more than we can love anyone else. We've got a special bond and nothing can break that. I've got the best little brothers in the whole world and I thank God for you both every day. I'll see you both soon, sooner than you think.