Dear MomMom,
Thanks for all you've done. I can't believe you're gone. You guide me everyday, even if you're not visibly there. I have never truly understood what it felt like to be alone, because you never left my side. Today marks 4 weeks that you were called home, but I guess I'm selfish that I still want you here with me. I still don't understand why God let you suffer, but you accepted it and fought everyday for four years. You are the strongest person I've ever met, and I'm proud to be your granddaughter.
For the past couple weeks I've felt like a horrible person because I haven't grieved the ways others have. I don't cry unless I watch someone else break down. We all knew it was coming, but how do you prepare yourself to lose someone so great? You have taught me so much, and made me into the lady I am today. The best thing you have taught me is how to stay strong even when I feel so weak.
Somedays I wake up on my days off waiting for the phone call saying you and PopPop are on your way. I miss our shopping trips. I miss our lunch dates. I miss our family adventures, but most of all I miss your voice. I miss your laugh and your smile. You always worried about everyone before yourself and I miss how caring you always were.
It feels weird seeing PopPop out without you, because you both were never separated. I know you worried about him, but we will keep him safe. I hope you look down on me and your proud of the person I turned into, and who I'm becoming. Like you told me I'm a work in progress, but I hope I'm taking the right steps. You told me how you use to pray to your grandmother in heaven, so I hope you hear me too.
I wish you were around to see my graduation, but I know you will look down on me, and be with me as I walk across the stage. Actually I know your be with me everyday, and i'll carry our memories in my heart. It feels different going out on family adventures, and you not visibly there. We all miss you, but we have been strong together.
There is so much I could thank you for, but most importantly thank you for loving me even when I was difficult. Thank you for never treating me like a child, and sharing your secrets with me. Thanks for teaching me to be caring and supportive to others. I'm strong because you have taught me that tough days don't last forever. I feel like I didn't tell you enough how much I truly loved you, but I know you knew. I love you and I can't wait to see you again, until then I hope you have fun with your grandma in heaven
XO, Beth.
