I often scroll through Facebook to find at least one post that openly shames the engagement of young couples. Whether it be a claim that we don't know what we want or that we're selling ourselves short, it infuriates me nonetheless.
The primary argument that I see many people make is, "You will never be able to achieve your dreams, travel the world, or truly find out what you want in life if you are engaged." But when you boil it down, this argument is ridiculous in that it encourages the ideology that women can only have one element in life, certainly not multiple.
I am 22 years old, and I am happily engaged to my partner, someone who has shared my journey in life since I was 19.
When you are in your early 20's, you are expected to travel, to navigate a pathway to establishing your career, and to truly discover yourself and your purpose in this world. Before I met my partner, I knew that I wanted to travel the world and pursue a career in teaching.
Now, three years later, I'm engaged and teaching in South Korea, the second foreign country I have been able to teach in thus far. In the time since I've gotten to know my fiancé and allowed for our love to grow, I've gotten an award from former Vice President, Joe Biden, for my work spreading awareness of sexual assault on college campuses.
I've graduated from a university, enrolled in graduate school, held multiple leadership positions, and have allowed for myself to nurture my own journey and growth in life.
Essentially, I am completely capable of achieving any goal I want to while also committing myself to someone for the rest of my life. I'm going to because I want to experience life with my partner by my side to the very end.
Being engaged does not mean putting your dreams, your passions, or your goals on death row. Being engaged is not the silent killer of your social life, your goals of self-improvement, or your plans to discover the world
To those who don't agree, the only reason I think they could feel this way is due to a misunderstanding of what marriage is.
Marriage is a union, a partnership, to promise to push one another to succeed and be the best version of yourself. It is having someone there to hold you accountable and encourage you to go out of your comfort zone, especially on the days you struggle to believe in yourself.
No one's journey in life is even close to the same, and this isn't any different when it comes to love. Some find their true love at 45, some at 16.
Neither path is more valid than the other, and we need to rid ourselves of the mindset that a person is incapable of following their heart, while still making wise choices, at a young age. I believe in pursuing this person because he brings out the best in me and he is dedicated to creating a life together. He allows me to strive for my best potential.
We encourage each other in our dreams and aspirations and neither of us would ever try to stand in the other's way.
Essentially, my point is simple: hold your tongue before you openly belittle others for being engaged at a young age. Be open to the possibility that there are plenty of young individuals who know what they want and what they want might be to spend the rest of their life with another individual who wants the same thing, to form a partnership.
The goals I had before I met my fiancé are ones that I am still working on to this day.
I have made every stride, every effort to continue to make them a reality and being engaged has not deterred me from them in any way.
Please, be happy for others. Celebrate the major milestones in their lives. Keep your opinions to yourself if you're not fully supportive, and allow others to live their lives in a way that makes them happy.
Sincerely,
An exhausted, jaded fiancé.
