We all have that person or people in our life that make us question ourselves. Your relationship may start out amazing or fantastic, or the best thing since sliced bread. Then suddenly things change and you don’t notice until it’s too late.
Life is great. Things seem to be going your way and nothing can stop you. Then after a few comments back to you, you start to question or doubt yourself.
“Should I have said that?”
“Maybe I just talked too much. They have had a stressful few days.”
“Maybe I AM wrong. I guess they’re right.”
You don’t share your opinion as much in fear of hurting their feelings or you don’t want to upset them. If you’re just wrong anyways, what is the point?
You feel like you can’t stand up against them if they hurt you, which you know happens too often. It seems its okay for them to hurt you, but the minute you mention your hurt feelings to them YOU are a terrible and awful person for accusing them of such a thing.
Since when did the most important person in your life become the one you can’t tell anything to anymore? You used to share every detail before, but now you hold back to save yourself from the judgment.
Your thoughts are full of self-doubt. You feel you aren’t worth it to even be friends with. You begin to ask yourself if its worth it to even try to have any friends. You’ll just bother them, too.
You have noticed a pattern of not doing things right (in their eyes). They may do something, but the second you do it back you are the worst. How dare you? Your writing is not up to their standards. Your feelings are a bother to others. You can’t be unhappy because everyone else needs you to be happy and be there for them.
You are not worthless. If your friends can’t handle you at your worst or when you need them the most, then they don’t deserve you at your best. You are an amazing individual! You have your entire life ahead of you full of memories yet to be made, more friends to welcome into your arms, pets, and whatever career path you choose.
You deserve someone who will put you first, not someone who will toss you aside until they need you. Your feelings are important. Your views are just as important as anyone else’s are. Your dreams are yours and yours only, you don’t need anyone’s two cents about what you should do.
You are not beneath anyone.
It took me a long time to be able to realize these things. I still struggle with accepting that my emotions and dreams are important, too. I would rather put others before me. I would rather hurt, than have my friends hurt. It is very important that you realize these things about yourself, too. YOU are important. YOU make others’ days. You need to do what is best for you first. If someone cannot handle that, do they really care for you or have your best interest at heart?
I hope that you find the strength you need. I hope you don’t believe you are worthless or unimportant. I hope that you smile because you are happy. I hope you can make the best out of every day. I hope that you know you are loved.
I hope you find that person or people in your life that make you feel loved and important and like you can conquer the world. Those are the best to have by your side. I am very lucky and grateful to have found those who are like that in my life and I could not thank them enough.
Just know that you can get yourself out of this mess. You can do anything you set your mind to because you can do this. I believe in you. You can do this.