Dear friend,

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately, more than you really know, or even care to know. In all honesty, you probably don’t realize how much you mean to me or what I truly think of you. You go on with your day, following similar routines and set schedules to the ones in the weeks prior. Rarely, do you take time for yourself.

You are that person in the room who will never dare place the attention on himself or herself. You are the person that would rather do for others, before doing something for yourself. That is truly admirable. You are a truly remarkable person. I just don’t think you see that within yourself.

All of the times that I’ve had the chance to spend time with you in the past, you have shown me how strong an individual you are…yet, it astonishes me how far from that statement you will come to describe yourself.

To me, you are the strongest, the sincerest, the smartest, and the most caring person that I have ever met. You bring light into the darkest of situations. You help him, her, them. But, you don’t help yourself.

I grow perplexed every time I think of how amazing an individual you are. You make it known through your everyday actions with those around you. That is why those close to you have remained close to you. There is something about you that others have tried but failed to attain. You carry a considerable amount of admirable qualities that one can only wish for.

But again, you don’t seem to acknowledge that within yourself. Why?

The times that you tell me about your past, it seems like there’s more to it. Of course, I don’t pressure you into disclosing anything you don’t wish to say; you deserve your privacy and space. That doesn’t mean I stop thinking about how your voice shakes, how your hands tremble, or how your eyes become a bit watery every time you begin that topic.

I understand that there is a reason behind your inability to see who you are as a person. There are many alternative reasons for your unexplainable behavior that have played in my mind. I try to empathize with you as best I can. I often fail though.

It hurts seeing you that way, I’ll be honest. My first encounters with you were filled with glee and admiration. That is still the case to this day. However, there is an added feature now: you have shown to me way past the happy-go-lucky façade that you put on. You have shown to me that you are a human capable of feeling similar emotions those of the very same people you console on a regular basis.

I tell you all is okay.

It is ok.

Everything is okay…

It is okay in the sense that I will continue to understand and respect you. It is okay in that you can still feel comfortable being around me, knowing that I will not judge you for your unfortunate past (which you had not much control over). It is okay in that I will continue to assure you that all is okay. You can continue doing whatever it is you’re doing. In all honesty, that will truly make me happy.

Everything is okay and will be okay in the sense that it is said. You very well know that I don’t disclose all about me to people whom I have only known for a few weeks. The fluctuation in my tone of voice or the hesitant state in which I say what I say—the way I say, “everything is okay”—is a deeper and clearer view of what I truly am thinking.

The thing is, my friend, you mean a lot to me. You are better than “decent” at this activity or subject area. You are much nicer than you give yourself credit for. You are loved on a daily basis and thought about constantly by many of those close by and far. You are special. You are unique. You are strong. You are beautiful, inside and out.

I guess the reason I say all is “okay” with much hesitancy in my voice is that I don’t truly believe that. Everything will be okay and should be okay for you. I, however, will continue to think about how you don’t see yourself the way I see you.

You see, my friend, to me you are everything a person could wish for in another friend or partner. I want only but the best for you, whether or not I am able to play a pivotal role in that happening. In the end though, what troubles me the most is that I have come across people like you in the past. And I have seen the hurt that follows before you can come out of this predicament a better, more grown person. I understand how nasty and vicious this cycle of negativity can be. And I don’t want you to have to go through that.

But I know it happens, and, often times, it has to happen. And, that…that is why everything is just okay… and why I will leave you to do things your way, without you having to worry about the depth of my intentionally-vague statements.

Sincerely,

Your good friend forever and always