A Letter To The One That Saved Him After I Was Gone
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Relationships

A Letter To The One That Saved Him After I Was Gone

I know he didn't want to hear from me. Truth be told, I apologized to him years later for myself, more than anyone.

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A Letter To The One That Saved Him After I Was Gone
Photo by Dương Trần Quốc on Unsplash

To the one who fixed him,

Thank you.

I know I did a number on him. He wasn't willing to open up to you, probably. He was probably terrified to even let you in. I ruined him. I broke his heart, all because I couldn't find mine.

All of my friends think I should be angry at you. After all, we were friends and then you dated my ex boyfriend. All of my friends were screaming "Girl Code!" after that cold Friday night football game. I saw your face when I told them to be quiet. Why were you confused I was sticking up for you? All you did was love him when I couldn't. There is nothing I can blame you for.

You will never understand how grateful I am for you. My guilt of how I hurt him will never go away, but knowing that he now has someone who can appreciate him more than I ever could, levitates some of the guilt I carry with me.

He's the kindest person I have ever met. And, you are the most generous. You deserve him and he deserves you. I will always support the both of you, whether you know it or not.

I didn't mean to hurt him. And, I am not using that as a cop out excuse. Regardless if I meant to hurt him or not, I still did. He was so angry, but still so kind. I have never felt that kind of forgiveness before, the one he gave me. I could tell he was hurting. I could tell he was angry with me. But, instead of lashing out, he bid me with a goodbye, a hug, and "I forgive you."

I never thought I would need forgiveness for something I did for myself. At that point, I saw breakups as a means of happiness. I had been hurt so many times before that I had talked myself into believing it. It wasn't until months later that my heart broke at the memory of his watery eyes and the way his shoulders shook as he held back crying. I do not think I have ever messed up in the way that I had back then.

I know he didn't want to hear from me. Truth be told, I apologized to him years later for myself, more than anyone. The weight of how I hurt him became too heavy. It was brief and sometimes hard to remember how it even went down. But, I will always remember him telling me, "I forgave you then, and I forgive you now."

He is one of the best people I have ever met and you love him the way he deserves to be loved. I am convinced that you healed him. And, I am ever so grateful that you have.

Don't think I hate you. I know you did for a long time. I never have. I never will. You hid him from social media to keep me from knowing. I am more angry that you thought I would be angry at you. But, that is more my fault. I have not always been the kindest. To him, I am the villain in his story: the girl who broke his heart.

So, when I told my friends to stop screaming at you from across the parking lot, it wasn't for me. It was for you. It was for him. I have never been angry. You don't know how thankful I am. I broke the heart of gold and you glued it back together.

If you need to hear it: I forgive you.

I show the same forgiveness that he as showed me. He taught me how. He made me a better person, even if he will never know it.

Treat him well. Love him the way he needs. Protect him from people like me.

Thank you for saving him.

Best,

Allison

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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