A Letter To The Mom I Don't Deserve

A Letter To The Mom I Don't Deserve

To the one who gave up her dreams to let me live mine.
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Mom,

I wish I could thank you for everything you have done for me. I know that nothing I can ever say or write will express to you how much I appreciate all that you do or how much I truly love you. When you read this you'll cry, but just know it still isn't enough; because nothing will ever be enough. There is nothing I could ever give to you to show you what you mean to me. But, nonetheless, I want to thank you. Thank you for all the things you did and do that I know you didn't have to.

You stood by me even when I was wrong.

People always say that your mom shouldn't be your best friend, she should be your parent. However, I'm so thankful that you were a two in one package deal. I find peace in knowing that I will always have you by my side. Even if you don't approve of my mistakes, you'll always be right there to take care of me and tell me it will all be OK.

You made me feel loved when I didn't deserve it.

I'm sorry for making you cry. I know it wasn't easy to do it all on your own. All I thought about was how you were making me late to school. Instead, I should have thought about how I made you late to work everyday. All I thought about was how sad I was when I thought our lives were falling apart. But, I should have thought about how you needed my support through the rough times instead of my criticism. All I thought about was myself, when I should have thought about you. Because all you've ever done is thought about me. You showed me the true meaning of love above all else, when I most definitely did not deserve it.

You did everything you could to give me the life that you never had.

I will never know what it's like to live above a bar, like you did as a teenager. I hope I never know what it's like to be a single mom of two. But, if those are the circumstances, I know I'll be OK, because you showed me your way. The other day at my sorority's alumni luncheon, a girl's mom attended with her because she was initiated into the same sorority when she was in college. For some reason, my heart felt so sad and I didn't know why. And then the realization hit me: my heart broke for you. Instead of having your college days or your young, wild years, you were stuck raising me. Your 21st birthday consisted of taking care of a toddler, instead of the traditional college party night. You're so smart, Mom. I'm sorry that you have to live a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle. You gave up your life for me, and you didn't have to. I know you say you wouldn't want it any other way; but, I just want you to know that I'm thankful. Because of you, I get to live in the best way possible. You gave me opportunities and a life that was never given to you. And I love you so much for that.

I'm sorry.

Lastly, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I'm not the best me that you raised me to be. You deserve the best daughter possible. You shouldn't have to put up with someone that takes their anger out on you when you've done nothing wrong. I wish I could take back all the mean words I said and my hateful actions. Just know my annoyance was not your fault. If I was in a bad mood I should have never taken it out on you. Because the best parts of me, are you. You're in everything I do. I know you did all you could to give me the life you never had. I know you did all you could by yourself. I know you did all you could, because you love me more than anything in the world.

One day I hope I can be not only half the mom you are, but half the person as well; because you're my favorite person I've ever met. I was beyond lucky to be raised by you. Don't ever think, even for a second, that I'd choose another life or a better mom. Simply, neither of those things exist. If there's one last thing you ever do for me, I hope it is this: just remember, I always have and always will love you. As long as I'm living, your baby I'll be.

Xoxo,

Your Baby Girl

Cover Image Credit: Mackenzie Rogers

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11 Reasons Why Your Little Sister Is Your Biggest Blessing

She will forever be your go-to Netflix date, your late-night life talk partner, and your absolute best friend.
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She's the person you care for with all your heart and sometimes hate passionately. She's the one you misbehave with yet the one who often keeps you in check. You've been there since her day one, and she changed your life forever. She is truly your partner in every crime, your shoulder to cry on when life is too much to handle on your own, and the very best friend you never expected to love this much. She's your little sister, and there are many reasons why she is the best thing that ever happened to you.


1. She makes you want to be a better person.

She's your baby sister, and you want her to grow up to be a genuine and well-respected person, which means you must be that person for her to look up to. She gives you a reason to be better.

2. You were her first friend, and that is a difficult bond to break.

From the day she was born, you were who she latched onto. You were her friend before she knew anyone else, and that makes your relationship unbelievably strong.

SEE ALSO: Dear Little Sister, While You're At College

3. She matures you.

You find yourself feeling motherly when it comes to your little sister. Your instinct will always be to protect her, often maturing you beyond your years.

4. She will always keep you young.

Although you want to be a grown-up example in her life, she will always be a reminder to have more fun and to let loose. She also has a better sense of style than you ever did at her age, so pay attention.

5. Your life-long friends have known her almost as long as you have, and they love her too.

You may have been her very first friend, but your friends fell in love with her at a young age as well. You know you've got a pretty great little sister when your friends never fail to hug her upon arrival.

6. She supports your decisions.

This does not mean she will always agree with them, but as your sister, she trusts you to do the right thing.

7. And helps you make the ones that stump you.

She may not have as much life experience as you do, but sometimes this can work to your advantage. She hasn't made as many mistakes as you have, and this can mean she's not afraid to take chances and push you to make scary decisions.

8. Distance is no match for you two.

You could go long periods of time without talking and nothing would change. You'll pick up right where you left off every time, although you prefer to stay in touch consistently.

9. You've become really good at giving advice and looking out for people.

Your little sister will come to you for advice, and you become more and more prepared to give it every time. This experience has also helped you help your friends when they need your input.

10. You will always be needed.

We all want to feel like we are a necessity to someone; we want to feel like we are improving someone's quality of life. While you may find this in other relationships over the years, your little sister will always need you, and it will always be rewarding.

11. She's a constant in your ever-changing life.

People will come and go in your life. Relationships will end and friends will fade, but your sister isn't going anywhere.

The day she was brought home, your sister changed your life dramatically. Maybe you were an only child before she came along, and she stole your thunder for a little while, but you'll forgive her for it. You'll realize that she changed your life for the better. She became your truest friend and your biggest blessing.


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Overcoming a sheltered childhood

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King Jr.

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We all know parents who will be forever overprotective of their child. It may take a lifetime to receive permission to attend a school dance, party, or go out at night with friends. Sometimes having a significant other is not even an option until a certain age (most parents say after college). The list can go on for what parents restrict their child from doing, especially if you live in a traditional, old fashion household.

Parents who are overprotective of their child, of course, come with good intentions. They do not want their child to be exposed to the negativity that is in the world today-- after all, every parent would want their child to live their life as smoothly as possible. But what happens with this helicopter parenting is a child who is restricted of life skills and the ability to deal with adversity.


Daily Mail

I am a victim of a sheltered childhood and overcoming it after eighteen years was the hardest obstacle. My journey begins when I was eleven years old - I entered the beauty womanhood and it scared my father to the point where he could not accept that I was growing up. Middle school is where everyone wants to fit in and be popular, it is a crucial time for a child because they experience heartbreak, bully, and self-consciousness. I remember entering middle school with the mentality of being included with the popular girls, being entirely insecure of my own body, and wanting a boy to like me.

Entering high school, my parents went from papa bears to papa dragons and I made sure to not include them in any of my 'extracurricular activities' in my life. My parents, especially my father, would not allow me to go out with my friends unless my mom came along. For example, my freshman year of high school I wanted to go watch a movie starring Paul Walker and my father's reaction was awful because he assumed that all I wanted to do in life was party with no goals or priorities. This type of mentality extended the rest of my high school experience and dealing with it was extremely challenging.

Throughout this journey dealing with being sheltered from the world, I felt like I was living a nightmare. I had no hope of my parents ever having any faith in me exposing me to society so I had to do it on my own. I would constantly lie to my parents to do things after school and eventually the guilt caught up to me. Unfortunately, it led to losing my parents' trust and that was a wake-up call to find another way to gain the independence I deserve. Joining varsity sports, student council, receiving academic honors helped me. This goal continued even when in my first year of college which was even a bigger test for both my parents and me.

What I used to call a horrible childhood, I now call a blessing because even though I complained and cried on most days - it made me who I am today. All the things my parents sheltered me from is understandable, but it allowed me to attain life skills by involving myself in clubs, volunteer groups, and pushing harder to get good grades. I am still learning as I go, but with the independence my parents have now given me, I am proud of all of us having faith in each other.

Cover Image Credit:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/2595755975

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